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Juanita de Paola

E’ arrivato l’Inglese, con un bastimento carico di: ansia. Quando l’ho conosciuto era così, efficiente, molto impegnato, stressato, con una colite gastritico nervosa che lo faceva stare sveglio la notte e dormire di giorno. L’insonnia è il metro con cui misura il successo del suo lavoro – ci riconosco molto dell’abitudine maschile a diventare tutt’uno col prioprio uffizio, finchè non arrivano gli omini con le camicie che si abbottonano di dietro e quel casco di gommapiuma molto Manhattan in bicicletta.

Ha portato qualche centinaio di sterline di vestiti per la giovin principessa Mezza Pinta, che ha vagliato il cargo e approvato il settantapercento della stiva. Lo ha poi spedito al negozino a prendere i leggings, che si era fatta promettere. Ha detto mi vuoi mettere anche qualcosa che mi sta comodo quando corro o no? L’Inglese è in fase di assimilazione contrariata della personalità di Mezza Pinta, che non sente seghe e vuole giocare (orrore) come tutti gli altri bambini, in tenuta da fan dei Mötley Crüe.

La valigia è piena di vestitini rosa svolazzanti e scarpine con i fiocchini. Anche quelle scarpine nere col laccino sulla fiocca del piede che immagino andassero di gran moda ai tempi della poliomelite. Non si scampa.

La casa regge, per ora. Gli ho detto questa è la tua stanza, qui dentro puoi fare quello che vuoi purchè non vada a fuoco, ma nel resto della casa io prendo e butto nella spazzatura. Non credo che funzionerà sul lungo raggio, ma per ora ci siamo.

Ha apprezzato molto le nuove tende marocchine sopra la vasca, che danno un effetto coloniale al bagno grande, quello con dentro i giornali freschi di stampa, chè sulla tazza con l’iPad ci leggete voi, se vi va.

Ha detto che non ha trovato nulla di carino per me stavolta e che Figs di Jo Malone non c’era, quindi ciccia. E’ il suo modo per dirmi che è arrabbiato con me, ma non so ancora di cosa. C’è sempre un motivo, rientro nel Grande Gruppo Umano che fa incazzare gli altri mentre non se ne accorge – che fortuna.

Ha lasciato il cellulare sul tavolo e ci ho dato una sbirciatina, c’era un sms di una signorina molto famosa per il suo fondoschiena, ma non quella che balla e canta, un’altra. Diceva grazie, è stato un piacere di averti conosciuto, chiamami quando eccetera. Scoprirò più tardi nella sera che c’è stata una festa pazzesca, una première, che me l’aveva detto, che l’avevo dimenticato, al solito.

Non ho memoria breve e voglio donare il mio cervello alla scienza per vedere come ha fatto il mio sistema immunitario a sviluppare questa difesa pazzesca: non ricordo niente. Dieci minuti prima di un appuntamento mi viene in mente che ho un appuntamento, e vado. Così la notte prima non ho ansie, non ho angoscia – perchè non ho memoria.

Alla festa pare ci siano successe cose pazze, me lo conferma il Quasi Papà dell’Inglese, informato dei fatti. Rincara la dose sua sorella, che mi conferma che una settimana fa si trovava ad una festa della polizia e anche lì la gente si infilava roba nel naso, beveva come se non ci fosse domani e c’erano un sacco di giovani un pò fuori di senno. Che lei e il marito erano andati solo per buon vicinato e che erano venuti via subito.

Se vado all’inferno ci sarà una festa e gente su di giri. E un privè.

Stanotte hanno suonato il campanello alle quattro e mezzo, appurato di corsa che non era morta sorella tre in un incidente ma che una sua amica si era dimenticata le chiavi di qualcosa in qualcos’altro, o roba del genere, sono tornata a letto e ho deciso che non è più tempo per gli ippopotami di stare nella pozza dello zoo.

Non è più tempo per le tazzone di caffè americano nella pacata atmosfera (bolla) della provincia toscana, in attesa che la vita prenda una piega cui adeguarsi – sebbene io vanti una capacità di adattamento che nemmeno i Pesci Pilota.

This is the age of maiale di cinta.

Sono entrata nella grande costellazione del Prosciutto. Si è tolto Saturno dall’ascendente e c’è entrato un mattone di Lardo di Colonnata. E’ successo qualcosa, un click, per cui ho deciso che il mio sogno della colonica con l’orto (curato da qualcun altro) è ora che lo devo inseguire, non fra trentanni o “lo faccio dopo”. Il mio sogno di una vita che sa di caminetto, di pipa e di cose antiche, di pane caldo, di bambini che corrono nell’aia, è ora.

Gotta: here I come.

Guardo Mezza Pinta e penso che per me quelle scuole private del cazzo piene di bimbi ariani rimarranno lì dove sono. Che lei ha diritto ai fiori, ai ruscelli, a quello che le pare. Che il gruppo di futuri vincenti che si conoscono fin da piccini e hanno l’uniforme e sfidano il freddo è un altro tentativo goffo di battere la morte a suon di protocolli: ma la vita si svolge altrove, laddove non la programmiamo.

Vediamo cosa ne pensa l’Inglese, se ci saranno deflagrazioni o grandi aperture. Se sapremo come coordinare la metropoli e la campagna, la tradizione e la ribellione: abbiamo un patrimonio così eterogeneo che dovrebbero venire fuori rose nere, mammiferi con le branchie, grattacieli sotto terra. Almeno ci speriamo.

Per ora dorme.

E dormirei anche io, se avessi trangugiato la quantità di brufen che ha diluviato lui ieri sera, per Toutatis.

juanita

50% business, 50% eggs benedict

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  51. L’UFCM a constaté depuis quelques mois l’accroissement des tromperies à la « roqya ». Les témoignages de personnes victimes de ces pratiques se multiplient et présentent les mêmes caractéristiques : « Une personne vous appelle et vous propose une séance de « roqya » gratuite. Cette personne vous propose de rappeler un numéro prétendu gratuit, souvent un numéro commençant par 0 800… » Mais, dans les faits, cette prestation est loin d’être gratuite, puisque la conversation est facturée à vos frais et à votre insu. Au-delà de l’aspect juridique qui est traité à ce jour par le pôle juridique de l’UFCM[1], ce procédé soulève la problématique de sa conformité au Coran et à la Sunna. En effet, la « roqya » peut se définir comme une thérapie qui permet de soigner les actes de sorcellerie, de mauvais œil et également de se protéger contre ces derniers. Par conséquent, est-il possible de la pratiquer par téléphone et quelles sont les exigences édictées par le Coran et la Sunna ? Nous présenterons ainsi successivement les conditions liées au soignant (I), les exigences relatives à l’environnement où est réalisée la « roqya » (II). Nous aborderons ensuite la question de la gratuité de la prestation ou de sa contrepartie financière et enfin les conditions dans laquelle elle est réalisée (III). I- Les conditions liées au soignant Souvent la « roqya » est perçue comme une pratique dispensée par un tiers. Or, il est essentiel de rappeler et de souligner un fait important : la meilleure des « roqya » est celle que nous dispensons nous-mêmes à travers le « dhikr » et la récitation du Coran. Ainsi, pour se prémunir des maux liés au mauvais œil ou à la sorcellerie, il convient régulièrement de lire le Coran et faire des invocations notamment celles du matin et du coucher, de réciter régulièrement la sourate « La vache », de renouveler son intention, de placer la certitude dans son cœur, d’effectuer ses prières etc., et surtout de demander à Allah la meilleure des protections. Toutefois, dans certaines conditions, il est nécessaire de recourir à un soignant. C’est à ce stade qu’il convient d’être vigilant. Il ne suffit pas de se rendre auprès d’une personne qui se présente avec la qualité de cheikh ou d’imam pour accepter de lui confier cette pratique. Comme pour tout procédé et encore plus lorsque cela relève de considérations religieuses, il est important de bien choisir son soignant car ce dernier est tenu de posséder des qualités bien affirmées. La maîtrise du Coran et des traditions prophétiques en la matière est une condition sine qua none, mais insuffisante. La personne doit également avoir des notions de psychologie afin de déterminer la part de sorcellerie et celle de troubles psychologiques fréquents chez les patients. La personne doit posséder une bonne hygiène de vie, notamment spirituelle puisqu’il n’est pas inutile de rappeler que le succès de la « roqya » dépend de Dieu. Ces critères sont difficilement évaluables, surtout par une personne qui est affectée par un mal-être, quelle que soit sa source. C’est pourquoi les proches doivent accompagner la personne dans la recherche d’un soignant qualifié et reconnu comme tel par des référents religieux de la localité (imam, responsables associatifs, etc.). De manière générale, le soignant doit posséder des qualités déterminées que nous pouvons synthétiser de la manière suivante. Il doit : être en capacité de lire le Coran, croire avec certitude au Coran, être empreint de piété, connaître les pièges et les caractéristiques du diable et des djinns, connaître la méthode prophétique de la « roqya », disposer de connaissances de base en psychologie, avoir la conviction que le succès de sa thérapie dépend de Dieu. A l’exception de la première exigence, il semble difficile de vérifier les autres conditions dans le cadre d’un entretien téléphonique avec une personne que nous n’avons jamais rencontrée, même si elle se présente sous le titre de « cheikh » ou d’un imam. Par conséquent, ces conditions soulignent une première limite quant au recours à la « roqya » par téléphone. Par ailleurs, à l’instar de tout médecin, le soignant doit, avant de prodiguer des conseils ou une médication, procéder à une consultation. Ainsi, un environnement adéquat est indispensable pour la réalisation d’une « roqya ». Il est enfin inconcevable qu’un médecin puisse vous affirmer par téléphone connaître votre maladie et attester pouvoir vous guérir. Vous auriez plus que des doutes sur ce prétendu médecin. II- Un environnement propice et la réalisation d’une consultation préalable à la réalisation d’une « roqya » Il est intéressant de noter que, dans son ouvrage « Comment se protéger des djinns & satan », Wahîd ‘Abdussalâm Bâli évoque l’importance du climat pour réaliser une roqya[2]. Ainsi, il expose les points suivants : « 1. Préparer le climat adéquat en faisant par exemple sortir les images et les statues de la pièce où on va soigner le malade, pour permettre aux anges d’y entrer. 2. Débarrasser le sujet de tout ce qu’il peut porter sur lui comme talismans ou amulettes et les brûler. 3. Éteindre tout ce qui peut émettre le son de la musique et des chants. 4. Vider le lieu de tout ce qui comporte une infraction à la shari‘a à savoir, par exemple, la présence d’un homme qui porte de l’or ou une femme qui ne porte pas le voile légal – al-hijab. 5. Donner au malade et à sa famille une leçon de dogme de façon à ce que leurs cœurs ne soient pas attachés à un autre qu’Allah. 6. Leur faire savoir que la façon de soigner est différente de celle des sorciers et des charlatans et que le Coran recèle guérison et miséricorde, comme l’a informé Allah le Puissant et le Majestueux. 7. Diagnostiquer son cas : pour cela poser des questions au malade pour s’assurer de la présence de tous les symptômes (…) ». Or, dans les témoignages communiqués, l’interlocuteur qui se présente comme soignant ne pose aucune question aux personnes. Il débute ainsi la « roqya » directement par une récitation du Coran. En outre, il est intéressant de souligner que dans l’un des témoignages communiqués à l’UFCM, l’interlocuteur demandait à la personne de remplir successivement des verres de lait, d’huile, d’eau etc. et de les poser par la suite sur la table de la salle à manger. Au point que la personne s’est retrouvée avec une multitude de verres posés sur la table. Le comble est que la personne ignorait ce qu’elle devait en faire lorsqu’elle a pris conscience de la tromperie. Nous constatons par conséquent qu’une « roqya » ne peut être réalisée dans un environnement quelconque. En effet, une procédure de diagnostic est essentielle. Nous pouvons à titre d’exemple faire le parallèle avec un rendez-vous chez le médecin ; ce dernier ne peut vous prescrire une ordonnance sans au préalable vous avoir ausculté et interrogé sur les différents symptômes que vous ressentez physiquement. A défaut, au lieu de guérir vous allez aggraver vos maux. Cette attitude vigilante du médecin traitant doit se retrouver lorsque nous envisageons le recours à une « roqya ». Pour illustrer ce propos, nous citerons l’exemple de l’anthropologue, spécialiste de l’islam européen, Farid El Asri, chercheur associé au Centre Jacques Berque, qui nous rapporte une situation alarmante suite à une « roqya » : « Une jeune femme en Belgique (…) est morte suite à une tentative d’exorcisme. Pendant les séances, les fkihs (imams) utilisent normalement de l’eau « coranisée ». Pour cette jeune femme, prétendument stérile, les exorcistes ont carrément plongé son visage dans l’eau et quand elle tentait d’en sortir pour respirer, les guérisseurs estimaient qu’il s’agissait du jinn qui l’habitait et ils replongeaient son visage dans l’eau. Pendant le procès, la famille de la défunte s’est présentée comme musulmane et a accusé ces pratiques d’être extérieures à l’islam quand les guérisseurs estimaient qu’ils avaient simplement fait ce qu’ils pouvaient. Le fait de recourir trop systématiquement au fkih risque également de faire passer une crise d’épilepsie, par exemple, pour une crise de possession. »[3] Nous allons aborder enfin la dernière problématique, celle relative aux honoraires du soignant. III- Les honoraires du soignant Le Prophète, bénédictions et salut sur lui, « a agréé les Compagnons qui ont été payés pour la roqya ». Il est dès lors autorisé de rémunérer un soignant en contrepartie d’une prestation. Toutefois, cette rémunération doit être raisonnable et surtout clairement définie avant le traitement. En outre, nous ne pouvons que souligner et rappeler que, si la roqya est réalisée dans un cadre sérieux, il convient de procéder à toutes les déclarations administratives. Comme pour tout contrat, vous devez exiger un document écrit et le praticien doit préciser quels sont ses engagements exacts afin d’éviter tout litige postérieur. Malheureusement, tous les témoignages transmis à l’UFCM soulignent que l’interlocuteur insiste à plusieurs reprises sur la gratuité de la prestation. Or, dans les faits, cette dernière est payante puisque le coût de la communication est surtaxé. Ainsi, l’une des victimes qui nous a contacté, s’est retrouvée avec une facture téléphonique (hors forfait) de 1800 euros. Par conséquent, nous constatons que ces « roqyas » gratuites sont fondées sur la technique dite du « call-back » qui consiste à amener une personne à rappeler un numéro surtaxé, information qui lui est bien évidemment dissimulée. Une « roqya » peut être payante à condition de respecter un cadre prédéterminé, fondé sur l’information et la transparence des honoraires. En conclusion A la lumière des développements susvisés, l’UFCM appelle d’une part à une régulation du métier de la pratique de la « roqya », d’autre part, à la vigilance de chacun à ne pas céder à la tentation d’une « roqya » qui ne serait pas réalisée dans les conditions requises et qui pourrait produire des effets inverses. Au-delà du cadre spirituel ou juridique, les divers témoignages reçus et étudiés par l’UFCM ne peuvent pas nous laisser indifférents à la question suivante : pourquoi des personnes sont-elles amenées à accepter aussi facilement une « roqya » par téléphone ? Est-ce la gratuité qui a déterminé leur choix ? Certes le mal-être produit par cette société est de plus en plus grand. Nous vivons une époque où les êtres sont de plus en plus coupés des signes de Dieu et vivent un rythme de vie effréné. Ces affaires sont révélatrices des maux les plus profonds qui touchent la communauté musulmane. 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