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Quando ero a scuola io, i professori ci davano una giustificazione a quadrimestre, ovvero l’opportunità di non essere interrogati. Qualche insegnante ne dava addirittura due, che erano un visibilio, qualcuno nemmeno una, che era crudele. Il fatto che ci dessero anche del lei mi inebriava, la trovavo una regola eccezionale, e speravo che nessuno venisse meno. Poi, purtroppo, anche lì c’erano gli amiconi e qualcuno trasgrediva questa algida distanza che dovrebbe essere obbligatoria. Sono stata in qualche scuola ultimamente per casi fortuiti, non ho visto nessuna differenza fra il mio io sedicenne e quello delle creature lì parcheggiate, se non che io ero più vecchia.

Spontaneamente mi venivano alla bocca frasi come ai miei tempi, oppure ma c’è ancora il professor Coso?, e quindi ho optato al solito per un dignitoso silenzio, cercando accuratamente di non sorridere a nessuno di quei mostri nè di simpatizzare con loro, che era un atteggiamento che mi dava ribrezzo quando io ero al loro posto e qualche adulto giocava alla corrispondenza di amorosi sensi con i più giovani. Le persone giovanili dovrebbero infatti essere private del diritto alla pensione e costrette ad andare in discoteca fino ai novanta, per vedere se si pentono.

Li guardavo e pensavo fiu che culo è passata: non tornerei a quei giorni nemmeno per un milione di euro al mese. Pensavo anche alla mia faccia, cambiata, e ai discorsi delle mie amiche, così deprimenti – e riassumibili in prima mi guardavano il culo, oggi mi danno del lei – e forse perchè a me il culo non me l’ha mai guardato nessuno (volontariamente dico, era comunque gigantesco e visibile da un miglio). Non ci tornerei nemmeno quando penso che i miei amici mi chiamano per dirmi che si sono innamorati di una ragazza, una giovane – specificano – e poi penso, accidenti, trentacinque sono tanti ma sono pochi. E soprattutto penso alle mie adorate scarpe col tacco 12, che a scuola non potrei portare. Ma che scherziamo.

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