Il mio arrivo a Madrid, la prima volta, fu straordinario. Avevo in tasca un pò di lire, il passaporto, e l’indirizzo per andare a trovare questo Roy, un canadese trasferitosi in Spagna che avevo conosciuto su ICQ, quando il mio account era “erode”. Aveva messo nel suo profilo una foto adorabile di lui quando aveva diciassette anni, tant’è vero che un pò mi ero peritata, io ne avevo dieci in più. Ci eravamo incontrati sotto il suo appartamento dove mi avrebbe ospitata, mi aveva fatto parlare con i suoi coinquilini e compagne di casa, quindi ero tranquilla. O quasi.
Dal suo terrazzino, quello che corrispondeva al numero civico che mi ero scritta sull’agendina rossa, c’era affacciato un uomo un pò storto, sulla trentacinquina, per cui chiesi in inglese se Roy abitava là: sì, disse. Indovinato. Con la morte nel cuore aprii il portone e inziai a salire le scale, per arrivare in questa meraviglia di open loft, eppure pieno di pianoforti, chitarre, bianco, aria di Spagna, felicità. Mi accolse quella che si chiama faccia da coglione, gli strinsi la mano e mi disse sei diversa da come credevo. Era tanto il suo disappunto che mi lasciò perdere immediatamente.
Il ragazzo era chiaramente frocio, e questo non perchè gli si leggeva in faccia il disprezzo per quel fiorellino di me stessa, ma perchè si faceva fotografare solo dopo le sei del pomeriggio, era vegetariano e portava i jeans a pinocchietto tutti su per il sedere. La notizia mi fu confermata poi dal ragazzo che suonava il piano, Damian, cileno con gli occhi di fuoco che aveva passato un pomeriggio a farmi un ritratto con i miei sandali di pitone rosa, (molto) alti, con il tacco a stiletto. Avevo addosso un vestitino bianco di ciniglia e molta giovinezza.
Il giovane Roy mi aveva preparato un materasso in una stanza ricavata con le tende bianche, che si agitavano sempre per causa del venticello madrileno. Le ragazze dell’appartamento cucinavano così bene che io mi siedevo al tavolo punto e basta. La città era calda, molto distante da me, che amo Barcellona. Il giovane Damian non mi toccò nemmeno, ma mi disse che suonava il piano come se fossi io, e a me all’epoca sembrò un complimento incredibile. Si fecero le sei ogni mattina, a ridere del povero maramaldo canadese e a bere litri, che dico, quintali di vino bianco fresco. Tutto finì lì, io ero fidanzata, lui pure. Con una tedesca.
Passano gli anni, una sera sono a Montecatini Alto a mangiare la focaccia, ricevo una chiamata, ma senti chi c’è Damian. Che ha aperto un giro di night clubs, è in Colombia. Che si era dimenticato di dirmi “addio” come si deve – e lo fa. Dicendomi che quel vestitino bianco con quelle scarpine rosa, lui non aveva mai visto nulla di così bello; in bocca al lupo. In bocca al lupo allora.
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