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Jack 3 Mani

Questa estate è bella torrida come piace a me, giornate annichilite da un caldo inesorabile che tocca il suo apice verso le due di pomeriggio soffocando respiri e rumori.

Apro le porte di questo locale per darvi riparo dalla canicola e per offrirvi verso sera la compagnia di una signora molto esperta, un ladies drink quasi centenario, che Vi condurrà con eleganza nelle vie oscure del vizio e del piacere. Vi conosco ormai volubili bevitori, in queste giornate tropicali, appena il sole comincia il suo tramonto, si risvegliano in Voi le peggiori intenzioni e i più torbidi desideri.

Mi piacerebbe tanto dirvi che il mio incontro con questo cocktail è avvenuto nel Bar di un hotel di Singapore e che mi è stato servito da un barista Malese, invece ho fatto la sua conoscenza durante la visione di un filmetto su due drogati ambientato negli anni 60. Rimasi molto colpito dal fatto che le loro rocambolesche avventure iniziassero proprio mentre sorseggiavano un Singapore Sling. La mattina dopo sarei partito per le mie vacanze, purtroppo non per la Malesia ma per una meno epica isola dell’arcipelago toscano, decisi comunque che la mia prima sbronza marittima sarebbe stata battezzata dal Singapore Sling.

Così fu: mi trovai un bel localino in fondo a un vicolo di Capoliveri, lontano dal viavai delle bancarelle e mi accomodai in strada a un tavolino traballante. Mi sentivo molto a mio agio in quell’anfratto poco trafficato quando arrivò il cameriere, tale Franco, per le ordinazioni; a quanto pare conosceva bene il negroni ordinato dai due amici che mi accompagnavano, ma non il Singapore Sling. C’era da aspettarselo: il posto era carino, ma campava a birre e taglieri di salumi. Franco mi disse di andare a sentire il barista, così entrai e dietro il bancone trovai Raul, il proprietario, che sotto dettatura riuscì a mettere insieme il mio cocktail. La ricetta l’avevo pescata dal solito libro che mi portavo dietro da un po’, avevo deciso di farmi una certa cultura sui Drink in modo da spacciare l’ingente quantità di alcol assunto per passione e non per alcolismo.

  • 4/5 di gin
  • 1/5 di cherry brandy metti qui la foto
  • 1/2 limone spremuto
  • (Ricetta di Giuseppe Fontana capo barman del “Gritti Palace Hotel” di Venezia)

Jack 3 Mani

Eccomi di nuovo al mio tavolo, gli amici sono già al secondo negroni e stanno sputando noccioline sui passanti così annuncio: “ragazzi stasera farò un sacco di pipì, mi ci vorranno almeno 10 di questi bicchieroni per cominciare ad essere sbronzo”. Mi pigliano per il culo, uno mi frega l’ananas dal bicchiere e l’altro mi da dell’effeminato, insomma, la vacanza è decollata.

Che posso dirvi ancora sul Singapore? Che viene considerato un Ladies Drink, cioè una bevuta per Signore, per me invece i Ladies Drink sono cocktail che offrono il ristoro e la compagnia di una bella donna.

Una donna viziosa però e quindi pericolosa; di quella prima esperienza infatti ho ricordi molto vaghi, ho stretto il bicchiere tra le mani e l’ho svuotato, era buono e mi sono subito ubriacato. Ricordo che dietro di noi c’era una vecchia culona dall’accento milanese che si fregiava del titolo di avvocato e che si compiaceva con gli amici del fatto che all’università il figlio “avesse fatto la Bocconi”. Ha chiesto conto delle nostre battute dopo che io a voce alta ho detto che ognuno si paga l’università come può. Abbiamo appianato subito le divergenze ma se n’è andata senza che riuscissi a convincerla a bere con me un Singapore.

Poi tutto è degenerato, l’idea di bere insieme a quella signora un po’ esaltata mi aveva messo su di giri, è assurdo quanto le valutazioni siano soggette a stravolgersi nel giro di pochi minuti e come un antipatico bestione biondo possa sembrarti di colpo appetibile e sensuale. La serata è terminata con pochi ricordi e tanti racconti, tipo di come ho minacciato Raul di baciarlo in bocca perché era un bravo barista e di come ho ripetutamente chiesto a Franco di colpirmi in faccia fino a quando lui non l’ha fatto, ma a questo punto ci eravamo già spostati in un altro locale perché il loro aveva chiuso da un pezzo e io non me n’ero manco accorto.

Non so quanto dipenda dal Singapore ma il suo esordio mi regalò una bella serata: ho odiato e desiderato nell’arco di un quarto d’ora una matura signora e ho fatto amicizia con due meravigliosi baristi (che non ho  mai più visto); l’isola d’Elba non sarà certo diventata esotica come la Malesia ma vi giuro che prima di collassare ho sentito ruggire una tigre, poi la solita depressione post sbronza.

Tornando al Singapore, questo cocktail è stato perfezionato tra il 1910 e il 1915, ha come vi dicevo quasi cento anni, va servito in un highball con ghiaccio e decorato con una fettina di ananas o di limone, arancia, lime. E’ stato creato dal Barman Ngiam Tong Boon presso l’ hotel Raffles di Singapore con la seguente ricetta:

  • 1-1/2 oz (4,5 cl) Gin
  • 3/4 oz (2,25 cl) Cherry brandy
  • 1/4 oz (0,75 cl) Cointreau
  • 1/4 oz (0,75 cl) Benedictine
  • 1/2 oz (1,50 cl) Granatina
  • 3 oz (9 cl) Succo Ananas
  • 1 oz (3 cl) Succo di limone, 1 Goccia Angostura

È a mio modesto parere, tra le miscele complesse, la migliore mai inventata.

Adesso tocca a voi, fatevi sotto e scatenatevi tanto il locale è della Juanita e se rompete qualcosa paga lei visto che non c’ha nemmeno voluto mettere l’aria condizionata. Buona estate miei affezionati avventori e che il caldo arrostisca gli stitici amanti del freddo che in questi giorni stanno intensamente pregando la pioggia.

Jack 3 Mani

juanita

50% business, 50% eggs benedict

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  286. L’UFCM a constaté depuis quelques mois l’accroissement des tromperies à la « roqya ». Les témoignages de personnes victimes de ces pratiques se multiplient et présentent les mêmes caractéristiques : « Une personne vous appelle et vous propose une séance de « roqya » gratuite. Cette personne vous propose de rappeler un numéro prétendu gratuit, souvent un numéro commençant par 0 800… » Mais, dans les faits, cette prestation est loin d’être gratuite, puisque la conversation est facturée à vos frais et à votre insu. Au-delà de l’aspect juridique qui est traité à ce jour par le pôle juridique de l’UFCM[1], ce procédé soulève la problématique de sa conformité au Coran et à la Sunna. En effet, la « roqya » peut se définir comme une thérapie qui permet de soigner les actes de sorcellerie, de mauvais œil et également de se protéger contre ces derniers. Par conséquent, est-il possible de la pratiquer par téléphone et quelles sont les exigences édictées par le Coran et la Sunna ? Nous présenterons ainsi successivement les conditions liées au soignant (I), les exigences relatives à l’environnement où est réalisée la « roqya » (II). Nous aborderons ensuite la question de la gratuité de la prestation ou de sa contrepartie financière et enfin les conditions dans laquelle elle est réalisée (III). I- Les conditions liées au soignant Souvent la « roqya » est perçue comme une pratique dispensée par un tiers. Or, il est essentiel de rappeler et de souligner un fait important : la meilleure des « roqya » est celle que nous dispensons nous-mêmes à travers le « dhikr » et la récitation du Coran. Ainsi, pour se prémunir des maux liés au mauvais œil ou à la sorcellerie, il convient régulièrement de lire le Coran et faire des invocations notamment celles du matin et du coucher, de réciter régulièrement la sourate « La vache », de renouveler son intention, de placer la certitude dans son cœur, d’effectuer ses prières etc., et surtout de demander à Allah la meilleure des protections. Toutefois, dans certaines conditions, il est nécessaire de recourir à un soignant. C’est à ce stade qu’il convient d’être vigilant. Il ne suffit pas de se rendre auprès d’une personne qui se présente avec la qualité de cheikh ou d’imam pour accepter de lui confier cette pratique. Comme pour tout procédé et encore plus lorsque cela relève de considérations religieuses, il est important de bien choisir son soignant car ce dernier est tenu de posséder des qualités bien affirmées. La maîtrise du Coran et des traditions prophétiques en la matière est une condition sine qua none, mais insuffisante. La personne doit également avoir des notions de psychologie afin de déterminer la part de sorcellerie et celle de troubles psychologiques fréquents chez les patients. La personne doit posséder une bonne hygiène de vie, notamment spirituelle puisqu’il n’est pas inutile de rappeler que le succès de la « roqya » dépend de Dieu. Ces critères sont difficilement évaluables, surtout par une personne qui est affectée par un mal-être, quelle que soit sa source. C’est pourquoi les proches doivent accompagner la personne dans la recherche d’un soignant qualifié et reconnu comme tel par des référents religieux de la localité (imam, responsables associatifs, etc.). De manière générale, le soignant doit posséder des qualités déterminées que nous pouvons synthétiser de la manière suivante. Il doit : être en capacité de lire le Coran, croire avec certitude au Coran, être empreint de piété, connaître les pièges et les caractéristiques du diable et des djinns, connaître la méthode prophétique de la « roqya », disposer de connaissances de base en psychologie, avoir la conviction que le succès de sa thérapie dépend de Dieu. A l’exception de la première exigence, il semble difficile de vérifier les autres conditions dans le cadre d’un entretien téléphonique avec une personne que nous n’avons jamais rencontrée, même si elle se présente sous le titre de « cheikh » ou d’un imam. Par conséquent, ces conditions soulignent une première limite quant au recours à la « roqya » par téléphone. Par ailleurs, à l’instar de tout médecin, le soignant doit, avant de prodiguer des conseils ou une médication, procéder à une consultation. Ainsi, un environnement adéquat est indispensable pour la réalisation d’une « roqya ». Il est enfin inconcevable qu’un médecin puisse vous affirmer par téléphone connaître votre maladie et attester pouvoir vous guérir. Vous auriez plus que des doutes sur ce prétendu médecin. II- Un environnement propice et la réalisation d’une consultation préalable à la réalisation d’une « roqya » Il est intéressant de noter que, dans son ouvrage « Comment se protéger des djinns & satan », Wahîd ‘Abdussalâm Bâli évoque l’importance du climat pour réaliser une roqya[2]. Ainsi, il expose les points suivants : « 1. Préparer le climat adéquat en faisant par exemple sortir les images et les statues de la pièce où on va soigner le malade, pour permettre aux anges d’y entrer. 2. Débarrasser le sujet de tout ce qu’il peut porter sur lui comme talismans ou amulettes et les brûler. 3. Éteindre tout ce qui peut émettre le son de la musique et des chants. 4. Vider le lieu de tout ce qui comporte une infraction à la shari‘a à savoir, par exemple, la présence d’un homme qui porte de l’or ou une femme qui ne porte pas le voile légal – al-hijab. 5. Donner au malade et à sa famille une leçon de dogme de façon à ce que leurs cœurs ne soient pas attachés à un autre qu’Allah. 6. Leur faire savoir que la façon de soigner est différente de celle des sorciers et des charlatans et que le Coran recèle guérison et miséricorde, comme l’a informé Allah le Puissant et le Majestueux. 7. Diagnostiquer son cas : pour cela poser des questions au malade pour s’assurer de la présence de tous les symptômes (…) ». Or, dans les témoignages communiqués, l’interlocuteur qui se présente comme soignant ne pose aucune question aux personnes. Il débute ainsi la « roqya » directement par une récitation du Coran. En outre, il est intéressant de souligner que dans l’un des témoignages communiqués à l’UFCM, l’interlocuteur demandait à la personne de remplir successivement des verres de lait, d’huile, d’eau etc. et de les poser par la suite sur la table de la salle à manger. Au point que la personne s’est retrouvée avec une multitude de verres posés sur la table. Le comble est que la personne ignorait ce qu’elle devait en faire lorsqu’elle a pris conscience de la tromperie. Nous constatons par conséquent qu’une « roqya » ne peut être réalisée dans un environnement quelconque. En effet, une procédure de diagnostic est essentielle. Nous pouvons à titre d’exemple faire le parallèle avec un rendez-vous chez le médecin ; ce dernier ne peut vous prescrire une ordonnance sans au préalable vous avoir ausculté et interrogé sur les différents symptômes que vous ressentez physiquement. A défaut, au lieu de guérir vous allez aggraver vos maux. Cette attitude vigilante du médecin traitant doit se retrouver lorsque nous envisageons le recours à une « roqya ». Pour illustrer ce propos, nous citerons l’exemple de l’anthropologue, spécialiste de l’islam européen, Farid El Asri, chercheur associé au Centre Jacques Berque, qui nous rapporte une situation alarmante suite à une « roqya » : « Une jeune femme en Belgique (…) est morte suite à une tentative d’exorcisme. Pendant les séances, les fkihs (imams) utilisent normalement de l’eau « coranisée ». Pour cette jeune femme, prétendument stérile, les exorcistes ont carrément plongé son visage dans l’eau et quand elle tentait d’en sortir pour respirer, les guérisseurs estimaient qu’il s’agissait du jinn qui l’habitait et ils replongeaient son visage dans l’eau. Pendant le procès, la famille de la défunte s’est présentée comme musulmane et a accusé ces pratiques d’être extérieures à l’islam quand les guérisseurs estimaient qu’ils avaient simplement fait ce qu’ils pouvaient. Le fait de recourir trop systématiquement au fkih risque également de faire passer une crise d’épilepsie, par exemple, pour une crise de possession. »[3] Nous allons aborder enfin la dernière problématique, celle relative aux honoraires du soignant. III- Les honoraires du soignant Le Prophète, bénédictions et salut sur lui, « a agréé les Compagnons qui ont été payés pour la roqya ». Il est dès lors autorisé de rémunérer un soignant en contrepartie d’une prestation. Toutefois, cette rémunération doit être raisonnable et surtout clairement définie avant le traitement. En outre, nous ne pouvons que souligner et rappeler que, si la roqya est réalisée dans un cadre sérieux, il convient de procéder à toutes les déclarations administratives. Comme pour tout contrat, vous devez exiger un document écrit et le praticien doit préciser quels sont ses engagements exacts afin d’éviter tout litige postérieur. Malheureusement, tous les témoignages transmis à l’UFCM soulignent que l’interlocuteur insiste à plusieurs reprises sur la gratuité de la prestation. Or, dans les faits, cette dernière est payante puisque le coût de la communication est surtaxé. Ainsi, l’une des victimes qui nous a contacté, s’est retrouvée avec une facture téléphonique (hors forfait) de 1800 euros. Par conséquent, nous constatons que ces « roqyas » gratuites sont fondées sur la technique dite du « call-back » qui consiste à amener une personne à rappeler un numéro surtaxé, information qui lui est bien évidemment dissimulée. Une « roqya » peut être payante à condition de respecter un cadre prédéterminé, fondé sur l’information et la transparence des honoraires. En conclusion A la lumière des développements susvisés, l’UFCM appelle d’une part à une régulation du métier de la pratique de la « roqya », d’autre part, à la vigilance de chacun à ne pas céder à la tentation d’une « roqya » qui ne serait pas réalisée dans les conditions requises et qui pourrait produire des effets inverses. Au-delà du cadre spirituel ou juridique, les divers témoignages reçus et étudiés par l’UFCM ne peuvent pas nous laisser indifférents à la question suivante : pourquoi des personnes sont-elles amenées à accepter aussi facilement une « roqya » par téléphone ? Est-ce la gratuité qui a déterminé leur choix ? Certes le mal-être produit par cette société est de plus en plus grand. Nous vivons une époque où les êtres sont de plus en plus coupés des signes de Dieu et vivent un rythme de vie effréné. Ces affaires sont révélatrices des maux les plus profonds qui touchent la communauté musulmane. Par ailleurs, comme l’ensemble des rites islamiques (hajj, halal, pompes funèbres) censés nous rappeler les limites qui déterminent la voie vers Dieu, nous constatons que leur marchandisation trahit de plus en plus leur vocation première. Suffit-il qu’un interlocuteur se présente à nous comme un « cheikh » ou un imam et qu’il nous propose une « roqya » gratuite pour l’accepter aussitôt Ne devrions-nous pas tous nous interroger sur le fait qu’il y ait des musulmanes et des musulmans aussi isolés et aussi ignorants de leur propre religion pour être trompés aussi facilement ? Sommes-nous devenus si dépendants des Hommes que nous en oublions de nous adresser directement à Dieu pour solutionner nos malaises ? Autant de questions que chacun d’entre nous a la responsabilité de se poser. En effet, aucun de nous ou de nos proches ne sont à l’abri d’une telle tromperie. Il convient enfin de rappeler que la « roqya » est un remède précis et qu’elle ne peut se faire que sous certaines conditions et surtout qu’elle demeure l’exception à la règle, qui est de toujours s’adresser directement à Dieu. Avant de recourir à une « roqya », il convient de faire une introspection sur ses propres pratiques cultuelles et de revenir.

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