Voglio spendere una cifra che non mi posso permettere nella migliore macchina fotografica che si possa reperire. Vorrei anche poterla pagare in quindicimila comode rate. Vorrei anche portarti delle fotografie stampate per sapere come si fa, esattamente, ad ottenere quell’effetto, con quella luce. Inizia così la conversazione più eccitante che io abbia affrontato negli ultimi anni, con E, fotografo e titolare di una bottega con tante macchine e accessori. Mi porta nella stanzina. Non ho bisogno della migliore macchina del mondo, inizia a spiegarmi, ma di qualche obiettivo e di un ombrellino a luce tipo neon per ottenere quell’effetto che piace a me, di luce calda, avvolgente, naturale. Riprenderemo la nostra discussione il prossimo martedì, abbiamo un appuntamento, e questa convoglierà ad acquisti smodati perchè lo so, lo voglio.
Ci sono migliaia di tutorials in internet per trovare consigli a riguardo, ed occasioni imperdibili a venti euro, il punto è che la parte della contrattazione, dello scegliere la macchina seguendo i consigli di un maestro, il trattenersi nel negozio con persone attorno che vogliono davvero che tu esca con la crema della crema al miglior prezzo, questo per me è parte fondamentale della cosa. E tira fuori ombrellini e lampadine e nella stanzina comincia a farmi vedere effetti, tocca qui, mi dice, rimane freddo: la luce speciale dell’ombrellino rimane fredda, è vero, ci metto la mano come quando da piccino la passi veloce sulla fiamma per vedere se è vero che non ti bruci. Ci vuole il cavalletto, certo, comprerò anche quello. E la pila nuova. E’ vero, dico. E una custodia di pelle forse.
La mia macchina fotografica mi somiglia, è un vecchio modello che funziona più di quello che dovrebbe, ottiene risultati stratosferici nelle difficoltà e rabbuia immagini facili, dico, che riuscirebbero a un bambino. E’ tutta graffiata perchè se la porto la lascio fuori dalla sua (orrida) borsina: camminiamo assieme, io e lei, alla ricerca della bellezza umana. Mi piacciono le persone, e piacciono pure a essa. Il flash si alza a caso, ma ha un buon senso del risultato. E’ una macchina di pancia, che sprezza il pericolo e chi lo teme. Quella che passa una giornata a fotografare una persona, finchè non viene fuori la sua bellezza unica e irripetibile, finchè non si sublima dentro la mia lente, sono io. Quella che poi sta due giorni a catalogare ogni foto con nome e parole chiave (Marina, Sorriso aperto, fiducia, empatia) sono sempre io. E’ importante sapere bene cosa si trova quando lo si cerca.
Così Martedì, io e il mio maestro, ci scambieremo le due cose più amate l’uno dall’altra: la sua competenza, la mia fiducia. Il suo parlare e il mio silente ascoltare. Il suo contrattare, il mio accettare. Non gli dirò che faccio foto dalla mattina alla sera e lascerò che scelga per me un modello sottomisurato, perchè parte della gioia del fare è il suo impedimento. Ascolterò il suo consiglio e non comprerò il flash con le palline fatto a cerchio, che costa duemila euro – per ora; ci ho messo gli occhi sopra e lo avrò, al solito, quando mi pare. Uscirò senza nulla, tendo a ripassare poi, sapendo che la cosa è lì per me. Che è mia. Gioco al gatto e al topo finchè mi è concesso. Ma torniamo alla fotografia.
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