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Correvano gli anni incredibili, quelli in cui oggi preparo And if i say to you tomorrow al pianoforte, andiamo in scooter all’Abetone, gita alla Macchia con i panini (gli altri) e un budget per il pranzo nel ristorante (io). Mi piace quel ragazzo Deutch, dice Chiara che non si può, che lui ci prova un pò con tutte – a me piacciono quelli che ci provano un pò con tutte perchè in genere io vinco la partita, la guerra e il piatto. Non succede. Non succede mai quando ci penso, accade solo se sto facendo qualcosaltro: non è strano? Dubitare della res amorosa, è come il bus a Firenze: passa solo se non ci credi.

Passeggiamo su questa linea montana in direzione del lago, con noi questi ragazzini che oggi sono uomini – uno mi ha mandato una lettera esplicita, come dire, ora che siamo grandi possiamo stare assieme: no che non possiamo, tu sei il bambino della cordata lasca e la tua mamma mi sta parecchio simpatica. Ma che fai? Cosa sei diventato? Ti piaccio davvero? Io non credo. Avrai speso un sacco in Sky, macchine, quella roba lì.

Avevamo promesso di no.

Camminiamo nella notte che sembra una fragola nera, con i puntini e l’odore fragrante, rumore di cinghiali – Lei dov’è, mi chiedi? Che ne so io, sei diventata suora nel frattempo, chiedilo tu a Gesù, c’hai più confidenza. Dal cespuglio rumori tremendi, forse moriremo: smettila stupida! Ridere. Forte. C’abbiamo confidenza in due cara, io ancora faccio le preghiere la sera. Accendo candele.

Da qui a ventanni saremo tutti diversi. Tutti dicono che è bene così, invece non è vero niente: falliti. Arresi. Sarete diversi voi.

Ha trovato la pace con la sua cameriera slovacca. Si è tinto i capelli. Ha la barba bianca. Ha iniziato la danza dopo cena. Fa pilates. Piccoli espedienti. Non mi funziona Spotify, a proposito, è rimasto interdetto del fatto che vivo in due posti: cattiva!

E’ una notte londinese dopo il sole – questa è un’isola, la luce o ti ammazza o non c’è. Stanotte mi bruciano le guance.

juanita

50% business, 50% eggs benedict

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