Caro Babbo Natale, da quando ho saputo che sei un’invenzione del marchio Coca Cola nelle fattezze e nei colori faccio piu’ fatica a scriverti le letterine, ma poi penso che credo ancora ai buoni sentimenti, alla possibilita’ di dimagrire senza fare la dieta e di crescere di un ultimo centimetro in pieno catabolismo, quindi, che cazz, posso anche scrivertela la missiva. Per questo Natale ho i seguenti desideri, mi anticipo per non arrivare in coda:
- Scarlett Johansson e Pete Yorn con un vestito di cemento, in fondo al mare;
- La scalata di una donna brava e intelligente come segretario del partito dei Modesti, che io votero’;
- La visione obbligatoria di Sicko per tutti, ma proprio tutti gli americani, non tanto per elogiare Michael Moore che mi sta pure sugli zebedei, ma affinche’ io non debba piu’ sentire la frase “abbiamo il migliore sistema sanitario del mondo”. Davvero?
- Il ripristino dell’educazione, cosi’, all’improvviso: uomini che aprono le porte, donne che si vestono normali, la parola velina nelle mani (uniche) dell’accademia della crusca;
- Asportazione della metastasi telecom/tim/vodafone dai nostri cavi, dal nostro etere, dalla nostra vita.
- Cablaggio di tutti i paesini in Italia, cosi’ posso tornare a lavorare a Vellano;
- Messa a reato dell’aperitivo;
- Messa alla gogna della zeppa;
- Editto per cui e’ impossibile chiamare la propria figlia Asia;
- La taglia 40 e un’evidente ipertiroidismo per me;
Grazie babbo Natale,
la tua Juanitina
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