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Siamo in quella fase della relazione in cui le cose si consolidano, i figli hanno preso pieno campo del tempo e gli amici cominciano ad essere presentabili senza che ci si debba raccomandare loro – perfavore non fumare prima di capitare, apri il finestrino, portati il collirio. Inconsolabili, alcuni di noi si iscrivono ad Ashley Madison – life is short, have an affair – oppure vivono una vita sempre più organizzata: cena con colleghi il venerdì, passeggiata salutare il sabato mattina, detox e yoga il pomeriggio, orgia di alcolici in casa il sabato quando i piccini sono già nel letto, film e ripasseggiata la domenica. Domenica sera cena con brodo. Altri abbracciano la vita di campagna, oppure l’attivismo politico, qualunque cosa pur di non doversi guardare in faccia e dirsi che palle

La ragazza leggiadra è diventata una terrorista umorale, specializzata nel portare il senso di tetro a tavola, il ragazzo diverso è rimasto un ragazzo: su questo terreno di aspettative diverse e cieche ci si scontra nel quotidiano e si cerca di sopravvivere.

La fase dei quaranta è anche quella in cui si comincia a sentire la mancanza di una mansion con personale in guanti bianchi cui demandare ogni tipo e quantità di commissioni quotidiane, i soldi degli altri cominciano a dare indubbiamente noia e si ha la convinzione che con un paio di milioni da buttare via tutto sarebbe più bello, più divertente – sofisticato, come noi donne diventiamo quando non si fa più l’amore.

Il punto è che svolgiamo lavoro duro quattordici ore al giorno: non pagate per la maratona casalinga, persino in presenza di signora delle pulizie, sempre all’erta e responsabili, preoccupate, si vive nella speranza che qualcosa cambi e che una mattina tutti quelli che ci circondano abbiano finalmente pietà di noi. Terribile il giorno in cui si realizza, una volta per tutte, che questo è un destino genetico, ineluttabile: nessuna pietà.

Nostra madre enunciava frasi che sono ora diventate chiarissime: ma possibile che nemmeno le mutande tu riesca a portare alla lavatrice? Ma non ti sei nemmeno accorto che mi sono fatta le meches (oggi shatouch)? Ma perchè non mi hai detto che eravamo sotto in banca? – e via, con tutto il repertorio, peggiorato dal fatto che ogni volta che lo si ripete è come tirare una coltellata alla magnifica stronza che eravamo a sedici anni, quella che giurava alle amiche in un coro unisono che <<tutto, ma mai come mia madre>>.

Ad avercene: mia madre in uno dei suoi giorni peggiori è auspicabile rispetto alla sottoscritta durante una cena in cui il mio dolce tre quarti decida di bere il sesto bicchiere di vino per poi perdere la cirimbaccola e cominciare a sparare boiate con la mandibola troppo mobile, l’occhio bovino, la risata troppo pronunciata. Triviale.

E’ allora che mi trasformo in un ‘suricate vigilans’: struscio le mani velocemente, gli occhi si dilatano, tutto l’alcol che ho ingerito si dissolve (evapora dal cervello in ebollizione) in una frazione di secondo e nemmeno se ingerissi una palla di crack potrei arrivare di nuovo ad uno stadio di paciosa rilassatezza, perchè sono diventata Schwarzenegger in Terminator Quattro – Il Rientro a Casa, e distruggerò ogni tipo di atmosfera gioiosa finchè non sarò nel mio letto. A casa. Lontana dalla festa. Io la odio la festa.

Nel viaggio che ci riporta alla madre, quello in cui si percorre a ritroso la di lei storia, la sua fatica, la sua infinita dolcezza, ci si avvicina finalmente a quello che non avremmo mai potuto essere se non coinvolte in una storia d’amore confluita in una famiglia con o senza figli: donne.

Nulla ci svela la potenza che siamo, sotto sotto, finchè non ci si trova in questa situazione in cui si è perso ogni controllo e che va controllata in ogni secondo. Nessuno ci aveva avvertito, forse a ragione veduta, che saremmo state così sotto torchio. Nessuna poteva intuire che siamo preparate a tutto fuorchè a prendere la vita con un pochino di leggerezza, che la missione più stratosferica è quella di avvicinamento all’altro, di adattamento, di comprensione.

Stasera mi porta al concerto per pochi, nella hall dei famosi, dopo che per tutto il giorno lo ho scongiurato di lasciarmi a casa: non sono abbastanza giovane, abbastanza magra, abbastanza tutto per andare stasera e godermela, lasciando la bimba a letto con la tata, preda di attentati e istinti omicidi – probabilmente affogherà bevendo l’acqua, urlerà il mio nome e io sarò fuori ad ascoltare un concerto, dall’aldilà mi farà recapitare un messaggio che dice “sei stata una madre terribile”. E’ così magra. Si rompe con facilità. Ce n’ho solo una.

L’inglese dice che sarò in buona compagnia, che tutte quelle che saranno lì sono piscopatiche come me. Solo che non se ne fanno accorgere. Partiamo fra venti minuti.

juanita

50% business, 50% eggs benedict

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