Se vuoi capire come funziona un nucleo umano aprine il frigorifero. Se poi sei in cerca di risposte cerca di capire se esiste una dispensa numero due, se esiste dove sta e cosa contiene. E’ inutile infatti fare supposizoni su un uomo single il cui frigidere sia vuoto se poi la cantina contiene dieci prosciutti salati, come è dannoso giungere alle conclusioni su una donna che colleziona salamini toscani se poi nel frigo stanno quei vermicelli per farsi lo yogurt in casa senza grassi o frutta aggiunta.
Tutto passa dall’intestino, dal desiderio: dimmi cosa vorresti trangugiare, e ti dirò cosa sei. Il punto è che un conto è quello che ti forzi a ingoiare ogni giorno, un altro conto è quello che vorresti assumere, godere. Tanto più è lo scollamento fra il voluto e l’avuto, quanto più è il disagio emotivo. “Tanto voleva nutrirsi di dolcetti alle noci, quanto in vita riuscì solo a comprare insalata valeriana”. “Tanto desiderava il chinotto, quanto finì a bere succo di tea verde senza zucchero per il resto della vita”. Mi pare di vedere Orazio che scrive le odi sul peso superfluo, lo farebbe ora se fosse vivo, per poi dedicarsi al suo ragazzino imberbe.
Le donne si guardano le cosce e la pancia con la stessa pietà degli aguzzini nazisti. Non bevono il vino (rosso) perchè fa ingrassare, però vivono vite a metà, che fanno venire il cancro all’utero. Smettono di volere non appena capiscono cosa vogliono. Le donne si scandalizzano per un marito che va con i travestiti senza pensare che sarà che è più divertente, sarà che tutto quel bendiddio tutto assieme fa gola, sarà che un uomo con una vagina rischia di dire cose più piacevoli di una prostituta di ultima generazione – femore di due metri, un master in economia delle telecomunicazioni. La prostituzione è sbagliata, e come no, come pure fare le stesse cose ogni giorno, ogni ora, ogni minuto, fino alla fossa.
Eppure perdoniamo molto, noi donne, quasi senza chiedere perchè. Procediamo nella nostra crociata del colpo alla botte e carezza al cerchio. Navighiamo il mare calmo e imperterrito della vita scordandoci delle aberrazioni – come se noi non si tradisse, come se non si desiderasse quello che non si può avere, come se non fossimo state cresciute da padri onnivori e madri (emotivamente) mute. E’ una strada in salita quella dell’amore che tutto vuole pulito, perfetto, ma ci proviamo lo stesso: con un amore infinito.
E’ un giorno importante, oggi. Quello in cui si viene celebrate, per colpa o per errore poco importa: amo le mie amiche, la mia madre naturale e le sorelle che mi sono scelta, e perchè mai non dovrebbero essere celebrate queste creature straordinarie? Se fosse la festa dell’uomo oggi, si vedrebbero branchi di giovani e vecchi uscire e ridere dell’occasione, certo, ma approfittarne. Siccome è la festa nostra, si sta a casa, a vergognarsi di quelle che sono uscite fuori pr andare agli spogliarelli. Certo che tristezza, un uomo senza mutande che balla, questo è pur vero. Ma anche che tristezza una vita vissuta senza aberrazione, senza volgarità, senza vizio.
Nel frigo, stasera, c’erano formaggi. Vino bianco. Vino rosso, anche se era un posto sbagliato per farcelo stare. Dolcetti alla fragola. Pasticcini al cioccolato. Tranci di pane con formaggio e pomodoro. Burro. Fuori dal frigo c’erano le ragazze: piegate, accidenti, ma vive. Vere. Qualcuna raccontava della chemio. Qualcuna faceva la fattoria del Facebook. Qualcuna andava a letto alle nove, perchè i bambini devono sempre andare a dormire alla stessa ora. Qualcuna ascoltava, rapita, le storie delle nuove mondine, che si svegliano alle sei per fare la treccia alla bimba, che non si lamentano di nulla, nemmeno di un tumore, che cambiano tutto, a un certo punto, solo perchè non ne vale più la pena. E non si girano più indietro.
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