Ma fai un pò quel che ti pare.

Juanita de Paola e Cecilia McKee

Le corna, come le scarpe con il tacco alto, vanno sapute portare con allegria e senso di stile: mai appoggiarsi ai muri per mantenere l’equilibrio, ma anzi sculettare più forte, per flettere tutta la massa allineata senza cadere. E stare dritta. Sono sempre stata tradita o lasciata, il che fa di me un uomo a tutti gli effetti; un pò perchè per noia o infingardia non ho mai avuto il coraggio di mettere fine a delle storie che si trascinavano patetiche fra un pranzo con i genitori di lui o il decimo dvd della settimana da guardare sul divano, un pò perchè  considero il tradimento fisico l’ultimo livello, il meno grave, dei torti che si può perpetrare in una coppia, quando ci sono coppie fedeli che si fanno fare una vita d’inferno ed andrebbero estradate. Il fatto è che mi sarebbe bastato anche quel poco per essere felice: come posso biasimare allora i miei fidanzatini che invece cercavano la perfezione, l’emozione travolgente, la tenera compagnia?

Li ho abbandonati alle loro cose uno dopo l’altro, ho sempre detto “fai quello che vuoi, mi fido”, che voleva dire “fammi fare quello che mi pare, fidati”.  Ci siamo persi di vista, pur amandoli profondamente, perchè alla fine non facevamo più la stessa vita; ho anche scoperto che là fuori c’è un mondo di donne che non vedono l’ora di fare la cacca con la porta aperta e il compagno appena fuori, per condividere dunque ogni cosa. Così uno si è sposato, uno convive, l’altro si è chiuso in casa dopo due anni di astinenza e pare non si riesca a stanarlo. Dice che ora faccia le candele profumate con le conchiglie dentro –  glielo ha insegnato lei. Ognuno è fatto a suo modo, quindi spero che il teorema valga anche per me, voglio dire, mi auguro di essere rimasta nei loro cuori come loro sono rimasti nei miei.


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