Giugno 2003: adsl

Migrare sarebbe una soluzione a Giugno. ma Giugno è come Settembre: non c’è via di scampo. E’ inutile fare finta di essere civilizzati, di essere nel terzo millennio. In realtà basterebbe ora un tamburello e un coro di terza per farsi venire voglia di sciogliere capelli e legami. Partire per qualche prato, a fare festa, ma tutti insieme. Coperte a scacchi e fiori in bocca, chitarre e termos di vino al seguito, questa dovrebbe essere la primavera se ci fossimo davvero evoluti.

Questo mese è stato piagato dalle disfunzioni dell’ADSL, un collegamento a singhiozzi come il mio giramento di palle. E fanno venti chiamate al numero Telecom per i guasti adsl, due amicizie nuove via telefono e almeno otto tecnici conosciuti. L’epilogo di questa disavventura sarà che [1] ci avevano messo su una piastra provvisoria (?!) [2] che la legge alla privacy non permette di tutelare l’adsl (uh?) [3] che questa zona è particolare (ma dai!). In mezzo a questa tonnellata di cagate riesco a farmi dare un router nuovo e più bello di quello di prima. Chi s’accontenta gode.

AIDSL PERDIANA

LA PORTABILITA’ DELLE IDEE Un’idea è un insieme fatto di immagini, riassunti di altre idee con conclusioni, illuminazioni. E’ un’associazione di più fattori riuniti secondo un circuito abituale che corrisponde al proprio modus pensandi, unico nel suo iter ma che porta generalmente a non più di una mano di conclusioni. A prescindere da age-sex-location. Avere un’idea è solo l’inizio di un processo di pensiero tra i milioni possibili, e la sua portabilità non ha tanto a che fare nè con la matrice nè con la qualità dell’idea stessa quanto con la sua diffusione consapevole.

Sto dicendo che un’idea esiste prima che la si esprima o la si comprenda. Ma esiste e resiste dentro di noi tanto più la si digerisce, rielabora, reinterpreta ergo acquisisce. Va metabolizzata per “portarla” in maniera efficace e addomesticata per farla assomigliare a noi stessi: quando l’idea e la sua immagine da noi espressa diventano due insiemi praticamente adiacenti ci appartiene ed è pronta per spaccare. Un’ottima idea corre il rischio di sembrare inutile se non è indossata alla perfezione ovvero nasconde in sè il seme della rovina per chi provi a diffonderla senza averne misurata la port abilità , senza aver capito se può davvero cavalcarla.L’uomo cerca altri uomini portatori di idee, cantanti dalle belle canzoni, pittori un pò più in là, filosofi illuminati, coerenti incorruttibili, per attingere e rendere il proprio cammino un pò più soave.

Il buon giardiniere sa far venire fuori le piante meglio del biologo che pure conosce la chimica, e per farlo ritorna al giardino spesso, parla irrazionalmente con le piante e vive d’esperienza. Il luminare osserva il giardiniere e impara.

Le idee però sottostanno alla loro espressione, rimanendo altrimenti in un giardino incoltivato. Ci sono passeggiatori, alcuni distratti, giardinieri, architetti del verde, osservatori, biologi e scienziati che nel pieno rispetto dell’equilibrio si comportano ora in un modo ora in un altro, garantendo ognuno spazio all’altro nella diversità. Le idee è come se si si riproducessero da sole e sotto terra, i loro semi si fanno piantare ma attecchiscono a misura e regola propria, le loro spore spesso ci attraversano, sfiorano senza svegliare reazioni.

<< Papà ho tante visite al mese al sito >>
<< Brava topino >>
<< Qualcuno mi scrive anche nelle e-mail>>
<< Racconta>>
<< Un signore mi ha mandato un libro scritto da lui>>
<< Bello? >>
<< No>>
<< E il tuo libro? >>
<< Devo convincere G. a farsi pubblicare>>
<< Mi passi il parmigiano?>>
<< Ah l’amatriciana >>
<< Ah Roma è sempre Roma>>
<< Sì >>
<< Sì >>
IL FATTORE D-N-A di DONNA

Se avessi un cane non lo farei mai tosare, ma questo non c’entra un cazzo con quello che ho in mente stanotte solo che mi scappava di dirlo. Pensavo che la gente ripiega, nulla da dire. Qual è il passo successivo alla fine di un amore? Si sia chiari, schietti perdio. L’accaparramento. L’accontentatura. Lui mi porta a mangiare il pesce e riesce ad arginare le stronzate che gli maratònano in testa ? Ottimo, sia lui. Lei ride persino quando lui legge la tribuna sportiva e indossa toppini di viscosa nera a fiori rosa? E’ lei. Guadagni sei e hai un cellulare (oddio ma che parola è? Che cos’è ? a che serve ? Come ci siamo arrivati ?) da mille ? Preso, presa, presi. La vita a servizio del benessere, assurto a dio superstizioso. Il mio bene io lo idolatro. Ma cerchiamo di remare verso la sponda dell’ottimismo chè se no qui finisce nel turpiloquio nichilista. Il bene esiste, Juanita, il bene c’è e farsene travolgere non è così difficile. Persino la punteggiatura stasera mi irrita. Allora, che stavo d icendo. Si nasce, si cresce, donna, uomo mio, bambini, fine, nipoti, fine, pensione, fine, morte. Oppure. Nasce cresce, crisi, omosessuale, vacanze a Mykonos, pensione, morte. Oppure. Nasce, cresce, vive, ospedale psichiatrico, muore. Oppure nasce, cresce, carina, single, yoga, buddah, vegetariano, marito dell’amica, causa tibetana, (finalmente) muore. Oppure nasce, donna. Donna, che in sciarada diventa danna. Che in approssimazione diventa si danna. Che in natura diventa donnola e nel deserto duna. Che con un bel vestito diventa dama (ma anche sotto forma di cioccolata tra due cialde di pasta frolla), che prima era domina e negli anni ottanta big domino rally. Che ora è dominio ma è pure dondolante. Dannazione. Donnazione. Dona – azione. Donna-azione. In un campo da calcio è Donadoni (pronunciato alla maniera di Pizzul). Dona doni. Che nella caccia è Diana. Che nel vecchio continente è Danimarca, donimarca, donna-marca, donna marcia, donna in marcia, che nelle negazioni è don’t (e ci mancherebbe che fosse un’ affermativa). Che vicino ad una torre con l’orologio è din don. Che nella vita è un dono, nel tempo domani, nei luoghi dovunque e nel mondo razionale don Quichotte. In Irlanda è il bel Donegal. Della donna si parlava allora, che segue le tappe assegnate(le). Assegnateci. Dai due ai trentanni si è donne in potenza, dai trenta ai cento donne in ricordo. Donna assomiglia a danno, e pure vagamente a dolore, quello che si prova non quello che si provoca. Donne che si patisce le cose che non si sono apprese dalla mamma e che si assumono responsabilità ma non conoscono la parola conseguenza. Donna che senza marito regredisce a ragazza madre ma se lavora è donna in carriera. Meglio in corriera allora. Donna tarpatrice di ali, le sue e quelle delle altre donne meglio se di discendenza propria, perno del proprio vaginocentrismo da terzo millennio, invocatrice del maschio vero e vecchio con camicia a qua dri, rude come Clint, tenero come George, bello come i bellissimi di Rete 4 alle dieci e mezzo. Maledizione alla propaganda. Maledizioni per Anna Karenina Masoch.Il cane sta russando come un peto e tosato così sembra un tarpone. A Serravalle hanno assunto una benzinaia. A Pistoia la signorina Lotti ha vinto le selezioni per Miss Universo con le sue gambe inequivocabilmente corte come previste dal modello mediterraneo, eppure coperta di mille litri di fondotinta e un costume antroporepellente. Lo sponsor della serata è PISTOIA CARNI e tutto torna.

Bisognerebbe poter guardare come quando si è arrabbiati, fotografare come se si smettesse di essere ciechi, vivere come se fossimo stati emarginati, come se avessimo perduto tutto. Allontanandosi dagli oggetti, dai soggetti, acquisendo una visione completa e certa. In distanza persino la carne umana controluce lascia intravedere una specie di scheletro, quello che siamo: una capannuccia di ossa coperta da ciccia e peli. In questa ottica non mi rimane difficile digerire la rabbia di stanotte, quindi questa è una buona ottica.

Perchè la rabbia mi sta prendendo il fiato. Il mio teatrino vuoto è ancora più grottesco, ma no, idiota, stasera. Povera stupidina. Ma se abbatto me stessa, il mio nemico, la sua vittoria sarà meschina, non l’ho inventata io questa tecnica.

Allora riepiloghiamo, cercando di non toccare le corde sbagliate, pena il lancio del quadernino dalla finestra e un eccesso di bile verde che mi cola dal naso.

Sono le due, sono in cucina, qualcuno sta facendo baldoria, in ogni caso sta facendo baldoria lontano da me, non so come, non so perchè, ero io quella che faceva festa a tutte le ore. Schiumo. Sbavo come una lumaca. Devo andare a letto.

La versione Live di Teardrops dei Massive Attack con le Cocteau Twins a me mi fa godere.
Natasha Kiss star del Mi-sex esplica la sua notte con Saddam Jr, leggo sulla Nazione di venerdì 6 Giugno 2003. “ e mi chiese anche le taglie della mia biancheria intima “. “ma dopo circa 15 giorni mi arrivò una telefonata seguita dal biglietto aereo per Baghdad e da un bonifico bancario come compenso anticipato per il mio spettacolo” . “prendermi in limousine e mi portarono in una grande villa, con stanze piene di abiti della mia misura e di ogni lusso ”. “poi mi regalò altri soldi e mi congedò”.


Non mi intrattengo sul fatto che una troia è una troia è una troia è una troia. Né sulla constatazione che libertismo fa più rima con liberismo che con libertà. Che attrice è anche chi si infila i dildi in ogni dove (orefizi principalmente però) e che la Merda d’Autore ha dato un esprit insperato all’espressione artistica in genere. Il tema “oggi parlo di” riguarda invece la forma per descrivere la sostanza qualunque. “Uday Hussein” riporta Luca Cecconi autore dell’articolo “si comportò da signore e mi sembrò uomo di cuore”. Ma chi è? Che colonna ho preso? Riguardo meglio, no no, è quella della foto della ghiottona. La forma è del tipo “ Parvemi quello stallone tanto gentile, sembrommi uomo delicato”. Come Uguccione, insomma, tanto gentile e tanto onesta pare la donna mia quand’ella altrui saluta e invece è una maiala risaputa. Se non ci fosse la foto di lei col frustino in cornice tappezzeria gozziana e codina alta ad surtionem pronta mi parrebbe d’esser capitata fra li righi d’un memorabilia: una dama d’altri tempi fulgidata dall’incontro col poeta. E un po’ poeta lo è Uday che le fa trovare stanze di fili interdentali pizzuti per il buco alternativo e proprio della sua taglia, non del mucchio. Chiese alla Natasciona le sue misure difatti.
Riporto : “Finito lo spettacolo parlammo un po’”. Di che? E io provo a immaginarmi ma non trovo argomenti. L’articolone si chiude con “Poi mi regalò altri soldi e mi congedò”. E io mi immagino la carrozza, la Kiss velata come l’amata immortale di Ludovico Van che si congeda con la manina pallida e l’occhio lucido, Uday bello come un giannizzero, impettito, lei nella mente, la patria nel cuore, la daga in mano. Se avessi avuto la fortuna e la stoffa di essere io giornalist a mica mi sarei mai spinta più in là di un passato prossimo, ma che scherzi? Il remoto affossa tutto di una solennità che nulla ha a che fare con la leggerezza dell’arte e dello spettacolo. Avrei scritto “ E’ corretto, paga in anticipo. Mi ha regalato 140 rose rosse e spedito il biglietto per Baghdad. E’ bello, ero eccitata durante lo spettacolo e mi viene meglio se sono umida. Nella reggia ho trovato stanze piene di lingerie della mia taglia, un lusso sfrenato, un piacere per gli occhi e il corpo. Mi ha pagato extra, lo rifarei”. E poi giù di particolari a palla di fuoco, tanto se un giornale nazional popolare fa uscire un articolo del genere è per attirare l’attenzione dei lettori pruriginosi ma vergognosi, cioè tutti, avidi di dettagli.

Lei guarda lui sperando che non si ingozzi, segue i viaggi della forchetta dal piatto alla bocca come un’aquila segue un topo in picchiata. Si p laca fino a che non si accorge che lui ha la mano sinistra, quella libera dalla catena di mangiaggio, sotto al tavolino e probabilmente sulle palle, e inizia a fissare lo spazio vuoto sul tavolino come una madre guarda il letto del figlio morto. Lui chiede che c’è, prende tempo e energia per la buriana in arrivo tra la carne e il caffè. Scòrdati del dolce. Lui ha un singulto di rutto trattenuto e lei decide che è ora di parlare di qualcosa ma non trova argomenti. Perché lo odia. Per averla ingabbiata, incoppiata, sottratta all’ammirazione degli altri maschi per poi farla finire in trattoria. Vuota di parole e piena di livore lei fissa lo sguardo in un punto tra la spalla e la testa di lui ma dietro, lo perfora, lo trapassa ecco. Lui si gira anche lui per vedere se dietro sta succedendo qualcosa, contro luce ha la bazza unta e si rigira. Ma come a “unduetrestella” lei ogni volta è più vicina alla poma, l’espressone è sempre più truce. L’idea di altri sei secondi insieme è intollerabile, eppure repe llente. Lui è ancora dietro alla pizza stavolta, sganghera un “vui ‘ffaggiare?” (vuoi assaggiare) a bocca piena e le saetta del bolo alimentare sul polso. Lei ha lo sguardo che ha odiato in sua madre ogni pranzo domenicale e ora ne capisce l’inferno, si’, comincia ad odiare suo padre per osmosi postuma. La carne dopo la pizza è finita, la cameriera è brutta ma ha le poppe di cento chili e una riga di pelo gatto sulle mascelle, ride come se la vita, la sua e quella degli altri, fosse felice. Lui sta pensando che deve scureggiare e che il viaggio in macchina per riaccompagnare lei a casa dei suoi è troppo lungo per non farsi venire la colite. Lei sta pensando che lui stia pensando alla cameriera che ride in una capanna e lo serve e ride, che lui crede che l’altra saprebbe stare zitta e sorridere e fare i suoi comodi mentre lei è una rompipalle. Caffè, ictus sorridente di denti marroni e nell’ ipotesi più allegra telethon di sigarette in attesa del conto. In macchina, parcheggiata nel paese appena a sei chilometri da quello del ristorante. “Ti amo“. “Anchio”. “ Ci si sente domani?”. “A che ora?”. “Dopo pranzo, dimmi te?”. “Ochei”. “Buonanotte”. “Buonanotte”.
– Buongiorno sono il guasto 873383.
– De Paola?
– Si. Sono nei pasticci, vi ho telefonato l’altro ieri per un guasto all’adsl. Non posso spedire il materiale e non posso nemmeno portare i cd rom a giro per l’Italia, che si fa?
– Mi dà il numero identificativo del suo router?
– 123456 credo. Il led della Lan è morto, svenuto da tre giorni
– Lan?
– (Antani?) Si.
– Il suo abbonamento?
– Talvolta Net Economy, talvolta Business Plus, non lo abbiamo ancora capito.
– Ragione Sociale?
– (Inutile). (Silenzio). (Intuizione). De Paola!
– Esatto.
– Via x n° y ?
– Si!
– Il suo identificativo era sbagliato, non finisce per 34 ma per 50, quindi io ho allertato il soccorso per l’altro impianto, che invece e’ a posto, perché è il numero fiscale, quello della fattura, e’ tutto finito nel nulla. Adesso le do’ un nuovo numero di guasto, segni. E si ricordi che il suo identificativo è quello col 50.
– Ochei. Venite domani?
– E’ sempre a casa?
– No, mi da’ una fascia oraria?
– …
– Le do il mio cellulare?
– Si
– Pronto?
– Dica
– 333333333. A domani allora?
– Suppongo.
– Arrivederci
– Arrivederci
Internet (Infernet, Infernet Branca, Infernet Branca Leone). Inter net, inter-nos, che vuol dire tra di noi: ho trovato per la rete delle reti un’etimologia nettamente più interessante di quella Anglosassone e/o Americana. Mi fa piacere il latinismo specialmente oggi, alla luce delle immagini dove di nuovo due poliziotti bianchi di nuovo sparano ad un negro di nuovo c’era una telecamera di nuovo bastava gambizzarlo. Sì, gambizzarlo già che brandiva un cellulare, invece di crivellarlo come un cartello stradale a Castellammare di Stabbia. L’orribile alieno bruciato cade a terra mentre è girato di spalle e fa finta di non stare morendo, e questa recita sarebbe solo grottesca se a non assecondarla fossero i due pinguini in distintivo, che cercano probabilmente di farlo saltare in aria, non saprei, in due da dietro a sparargli nella schiena come se fosse un cuscino.

Sono un bianco, sono un poliziotto, sto facendo la ronda, mia moglie mi aspetta, cento maledetti negri oggi si sono sparati per le strade e hanno messo in pericolo la mia vita, la felicità dei miei figli, il mio posto di lavoro e il mio sonno. Sono un “cop”, faccio una vita di merda e l’ufficio deve essere caldo si vede in Chips, i no global mi odiano, i global mi odiano, il traffico mi odia e persino Dio mi odia se mi ha fatto diventare un poliziotto a New Orleans. Volante volante inseguimento, macchina con negro alla guida, scappa dal posto di blocco, che succede? Inseguiamolo, scende al benzinaio, che ha in mano ? Oddio muoio stavolta. Questa è la volta buona, anzi quella cattiva. Shot, shot, shot. Shot shot shot.

Sono un negro, sono un negro, non son o un poliziotto. Bianchi cantano che io canto Gangsta, rappa, yo, brotha, street life, dicono come mi muovo io non si muovono, ce l’ho nel sangue, gospel, pistola, oro, potere, madre africa, troppo colore. Maledetti bianchi. Un posto di blocco, non ho la patente, non ho l’assicurazione, ho bevuto?, Portavo il crack? Andavo da Blockbuster? Che faccio, scappare scappare scappare. Fermi ho una pistola (è un cellulare bianco e rosa), non mi sparate. Shot shot shot. Sto camminando, sono ancora vivo, cammino perchè così non muoio, si fermeranno prima o poi, no ? L’importante è vivere, rimanere qui. Shot shot shot.

ZAP ::: RETE 4

I mercenari prendono 6000,00 € al mese, quelli francesi perlomeno. Quando ricevono lettere da casa piangono. Sanno costruire una zattera in trenta minuti, ricavare l’acqua da lle piante, catturare un’anaconda prima che li avvolga e riconoscere i frutti velenosi. Cosa fa davvero un mercenario nella vita non lo so, immagino presti servizio a pagamento per un lavoro di guerra. Fanno anche vedere un’esercitazione: si ammazzano di botte davvero tra di loro, i più violenti vengono arginati o messi in prigione. C’è sempre un medico con loro, si fanno ricucire senza anestesia, a quell’ometto non gli batte un ciglio mentre gli rincollano la bocca. Il pericolo maggiore non è la guerra ma gli insetti. Hanno tutti il collo taurino.

ZAP ::: CANALE 5

C’è qualcosa di capro satanico nel fischio dei denti di Costanzo. Entrano gli ospiti: Carlo Rubbia, Stefano Zecchi, un facceride, due facceride, tre, quattro, Gorbaciov e due Sfogliatelle (Veline, velone, vallette, vallelata, valleombrosa, vallequi, vallelà, il budello..), tanto per dare all’emisfero femminile la parola che si deve. Guarda c’è Tutankamon che canta, la gente si fa mattare dal tricheco e tiene il microfono in mano come si sta in purgatorio. Kledis. E Rutger Hauer dov’è ? Balla tutto, vomito. Che è? Il vascello si muove ma la foca monaca statica dirige il traffico. Boni. E’ il Dottor Kostanzo quella boa della Sirti? Manca Patrizia pellegrino o un’attrice magra che sia testimonial di una campagna anti morbo. E il travestito gesuita dov’è? E Marta Flavi ?! Puntata brutta, non c’è nemmeno George Clinton che fa il karaoke.

ZAP ::: MTV

Intervistano Ben harper, l’artista più sopravvalutato di tutti i tempi. You can jeerk, with your own, two haaands (too). Loghi ganzetti, colori acidosi, qualche canzoncina di merda et voilà, che è questo il Flippaut Festival (dio mtv dio), il “giovane” è servito. Loboto mia. Anche di tutti però.

ZAP ::: RAI

Palestina Israele, è nato prima l’uovo o la gallina? Ma nove per nove farà ottantuno?

ZAP ::: RAI

Febbre da Cavallo. Strepitoso, ma l’ho visto due sttimane fa coi miei cugini.

ZAP ::: Boh

Fabio Volo e un’altra ciabatta bionda presentano uno sciou musicale i ntrepido, che dicono, non capisco, troppi colori, troppo giovane, veri cul.

IL SOGNO

Una notte una compagnia balsana arriva a Villa mansi che per la straordinaria occasione è più grande e arancione. Camminando torno trono il perimetro del piano terra studiamo le finestre perchè, ovvio, si vuole entrare. Questa finestra è adatta urla qualcuno.

Siamo dentro. L’interno è da rifare, cadente insomma, svoltoliamo fili di lampadine gialle, per terra scrorre l’acqua calda a velocità perchè i micro piano sono tutti sfalsati. Le lampadine sono accese, bussano alla porta scassata: si apre e fanno festa entrando, due ragazzi amici che si vogliono bene e si sor ridono a bocca spiegata saltano da un muro all’altro, come indiavolati, cascano di piatto sulla schiena, in posizione da partoriente e pisciano.

Si vede la fontanella d’acqua e niente altro. Danno in qualche modo felicità, nonostante tutti pensiamo che la pipì in casa non si dovrebbe fare. Finiamo tutti a fare la pipì dove capita e a ridere. Siamo al piano di sopra ora, nella stanza da letto che deve essere una delle centinaia. Il letto è sottile in ferro battuto, il tetto altissimo come adoro,

Una notte senza il quadernino, dalla disperazione mi sono scritta due righe sull’agenda quella seria, con la certezza che succederà come quella vol ta che ho lasciato il diario segreto da un vivaista che mi aveva commissionato un lavoro. Figura da danza artistica, un origami, un florilegio di figure di merda, un inanellamento di frasi davvero inopportune, era il mio diarino preferito, quello con il camion giallo su sfondo rosso. C’erano tutte le impressioni delle prime due settimane londinesi, con descrizioni minuziose dei giochini che i miei coinquilini-padroni di casa effettuavano con i loro amici altolocati. Nomi, cognomi pesanti, fotografie rubate con la telecamerina nascosta, un’entomologa. E deve essersele gustate se quando gli ho telefonato per sapere se il mio quadernino fosse lì l’omino balbettava come un assassino al commissariato di polizia.

Lavoro non andato a fine, ovvio. Nemmeno quando ho addotto la scusa, geniale, geniale, che lavoro come traduttrice di romanzi dall’inglese all’italiano e che per me quel quaderno era vitale perchè conteneva un romanzo di prossima uscita, nemmeno allora è riuscito a smettere di balbettare. Sarà stato il racconto del tappeto o quello del regista che viaggia con un ciotolo di pasticche che assume a distanza di un’ora una dall’altra ?

Parlando con quella colonna intellettuale che il destino mi ha fatto incontrare mesi addietro, forse anni, si parlava dell’infelicità. Quella di natura amorosa, è un peccato che la parola “erotico” sia stata storpiata, era il suo turno ora. Tutto per arrivare alla conclusione che chi si innamora perde l’80% delle sue capacita’ intellettuali. Diventa coglione insomma. La donna no, era già malata prima, anzi migliora.

AIDSL
AIDSL
AIDSL
AIDSL
Chi non ha mai camminato la notte in Piazza del Duomo a Pistoia stringendo una mano che non era quella raccomandata o comandata ha perso innanzitutto una tentazione incredibile, ha trascurato il potere delle luci sulle pareti antiche e la protezione di una struttura che invita ad abbracciarsi, tanto non vede nessuno. Quel loggiato parla di tempi antichi, suggerisce di non andare a crecare troppo lontano, insegna e protegge come i maestri del passato e pochi del presente. O forse ce lo raccontano i vecchi che prima era meglio per farci pagare che loro a scuola non ci sono più. Ma nemmeno io se è per questo.

Chi tradisce ci porti l’oggetto del desiderio, oppure tradisca la noia portandoci persino la moglie, il marito e i nipoti.

AIDSL
AIDSL
AIDSL
AIDSL
AIDSL (dio madonna dio)
AIDSL
AIDSL
AIDSL

Quando ero piccola mio padre mi diceva che sarei diventata qualcuno e che tutti i suoi sforzi sarebbero stati ripagati con gli interessi, che io avrei mantenuto tutta la famiglia. Con questo supporto emotivo ammetto di aver veleggiato sempre sopra la media, nonostante molte correnti contrarie. La più tenace quella di mamma (parola voluttuosa): una cosa alla volta, una dopo l’altra, trovati un lavoro fisso, non ti illudere, non ci illudere, un po’ d’umiltà e tutta una serie di verità tanto insopportabili quanto vere. La più trasversale quella della dottoressa bionda secca, non mi ricordo il nome, ex timida psicologa del lavoro liberata, docente di comunicazione per l’unione europea, oddio ma come si chiamava, aveva la faccia da francesca, o paola, o luisella. Acneica comunque col fondotinta troppo chiaro.

Insomma, quando ero tutor per l’unione europea (fan fan fan tu tu pituuu) mi insegnava, la ant onella?, a rimuovere la parola fallimento e a trasformare ogni debàcles in un un punto di una linea di punti che è la vita. A me questa teoria mi ha scatenato l’effetto opposto: ho fallito, gabriella?, ho strafallito e lasciami sbrodolare nel melodramma. Altra controrematrice è stata la Lisa che imperterrita ha continuato a sgranare gli occhi ogni volta che mi ha sentito rispondere alla domanda
<< Che lavoro fai? >> << Ho una cooperativa che ha due divisioni, una grafica, branding principalmente, e una di eventi, sai, dai congressi al matrimonio, cura dell’immagine, restyling >>.
Da questa base si parte poi per innumerevoli microvariazioni strettamente proporzionali all’interlocutore: pende verso il marketing se parlo con un dottore in economia, vira verso l’espressionismo creativo se si tratta con artisti e si tinge di casereccio se si parla di Toscana. “ L’insostenibile leggerezza del menga “ proseguo ideale di kundera. La forma è tutto, mi dispia ce.

Insomma tutto può essere tutto e il suo contrario come si intuisce a dieci anni e dimentica a trenta, e a chi cerca di perpetrare l’antico inganno l’universo si ribella invidioso. Produrre produrre produrre. Veloce veloce veloce. Di più di più di più. (Mi astengo, mi esimo, mi giustifico, gioco il Jolly, il guerriero si riposa, chiedo venia, lasciatemi in pace brutti rompicoglioni che mi state infestando il tavolino di scrittura). Si diceva. La lotta alla verità mi ha visto amazzone fino a che non mi sono mancate le forze, anche verbali.
<< Che lavoro fai? >>
<< Disegno >>
<< Cosa? >>
<< Quel che mi danno da fare >>
<< Per conto tuo ? >>
<< Si >>
<< Guadagni bene ? >>
<< Sono piena di debiti >>
<< Ah >>
Colpo di genio.
Ma il sunto papà è che ti sono un adorato peso, che probabilmente quando avrò due lire (iuros) li spenderò per me e i miei figli manterranno me come io non ho fatto con te dal momento che la vita premia gli indolenti, gli egoisti che hanno il coraggio sorridente della loro meschinità. Io sono simpatica alla vita, la sorella del vangelo che non sparecchia, sono pigra come i gatti e umanamente non particolarmente elogiabile. Tutti si sentono migliori di me ultimamente e mi regalano, compatendomi, approvazione e cena.
Colpo di genio, forse avevi ragione.

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