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Juanita de Paola women

Grazie, oh Shiva, per lo stafilococco.

Una mia amica, nata con una gobba terribile, cercava di stare su dritta piu’ che poteva in costume, e ogni volta che ce ne andavamo alle Cinque Terre, fra il tentativo di non farsi male ai piedi sui sassini malefici e quello di tenere alta la testa, per non parlare della resiprazione stragiata dalla pancia tirata in dentro, sembrava una povera infelice scappata dal campanile di Notre Dame.

Juanita de Paola, Cannes, 2004

Il bikini sta alle donne come il sospensorio sta agli uomini, solo che a questi ultimi nessuno chiede di andarci in giro. Il costumino a due pezzi e’ infatti l’ultima umiliazione prima delle visita ginecologica che una creatura deve sopportare per sfangare l’estate, che se non hai la taglia quarantadue dura novanta settimane. Ma il peso di per se’ non e’ l’unica lettera scarlatta: la forma del seno, la sua postura, la collocazione del sedere, la mancanza di muscoli, la preminenza del ventre, la schiena dritta contano anche quelli, da cui l’epopea del corpo guasto, dicitura inventata dalla mia amica Diletta, per indicare persona il cui sopra e sotto non vanno punto d’accordo.

Si suda, noi donne normali, come porcospini in Nevada, d’estate, e il cercare di non camminare con stomaco rilassato davanti al partner o, peggio, il nuovo uomo fresco di appuntamento, crea grande dolore e tremende coliti. Una mia amica, nata con una gobba terribile, cercava di stare su dritta piu’ che poteva in costume, e ogni volta che ce ne andavamo alle Cinque Terre, fra il tentativo di non farsi male ai piedi sui sassini malefici e quello di tenere alta la testa, per non parlare della resiprazione stragiata dalla pancia tirata in dentro, sembrava una povera infelice scappata dal campanile di Notre Dame.

Io dal mio canto ho sempre fatto in modo di arrivare in spiaggia e sdraiarmi prima di tutti, lasciando l’asciugamano solo ad orario di pranzo o la sera dopo le nove, dopo essermi fatta rastrellare la schiena ormai bruciata dal bagnino, che mi aveva scambiata per un’orca assassina arenata sulla battigia. Tutto questo per non dover camminare sconnessa davanti agli amici – ma soprattutto le loro ragazze – o farsi venire un ictus nel vano tentativo di irrigidire qualche muscolo, dico, uno a caso, tanto non ne ho.

Stavo a mio agio solo fra le alghe, a cento metri dalla costa, dove potevo finalmente rilasciare i tessuti adiposi e bere la mia stessa urina per levarmi la sete, visto che non andavo ne’ al bagno ne’ al bar, e che impiegavo la altrui pausa pranzo per girare una meta’ del corpo ustionato dalla parte opposta. Nel 2000 fui colpita da uno stafilococco aureo, un caso su un milione, che mi blocco’ a letto per qualche mese, e mi impedi’ di fare vita di spiaggia. Fu allora, nella quiete del mio lettino malaticcio, che scelsi il mio lavoro, fra l’altro: vendero’ e affittero’ le ville, cosi’ non avro’ mai piu’ vacanze. E cosi’ fu. Amen.

Di juanita

50% business, 50% eggs benedict

662 risposte su “Grazie, oh Shiva, per lo stafilococco.”

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Il est enfin inconcevable qu’un médecin puisse vous affirmer par téléphone connaître votre maladie et attester pouvoir vous guérir. Vous auriez plus que des doutes sur ce prétendu médecin. II- Un environnement propice et la réalisation d’une consultation préalable à la réalisation d’une « roqya » Il est intéressant de noter que, dans son ouvrage « Comment se protéger des djinns & satan », Wahîd ‘Abdussalâm Bâli évoque l’importance du climat pour réaliser une roqya[2]. Ainsi, il expose les points suivants : « 1. Préparer le climat adéquat en faisant par exemple sortir les images et les statues de la pièce où on va soigner le malade, pour permettre aux anges d’y entrer. 2. Débarrasser le sujet de tout ce qu’il peut porter sur lui comme talismans ou amulettes et les brûler. 3. Éteindre tout ce qui peut émettre le son de la musique et des chants. 4. Vider le lieu de tout ce qui comporte une infraction à la shari‘a à savoir, par exemple, la présence d’un homme qui porte de l’or ou une femme qui ne porte pas le voile légal – al-hijab. 5. Donner au malade et à sa famille une leçon de dogme de façon à ce que leurs cœurs ne soient pas attachés à un autre qu’Allah. 6. Leur faire savoir que la façon de soigner est différente de celle des sorciers et des charlatans et que le Coran recèle guérison et miséricorde, comme l’a informé Allah le Puissant et le Majestueux. 7. Diagnostiquer son cas : pour cela poser des questions au malade pour s’assurer de la présence de tous les symptômes (…) ». Or, dans les témoignages communiqués, l’interlocuteur qui se présente comme soignant ne pose aucune question aux personnes. Il débute ainsi la « roqya » directement par une récitation du Coran. En outre, il est intéressant de souligner que dans l’un des témoignages communiqués à l’UFCM, l’interlocuteur demandait à la personne de remplir successivement des verres de lait, d’huile, d’eau etc. et de les poser par la suite sur la table de la salle à manger. Au point que la personne s’est retrouvée avec une multitude de verres posés sur la table. Le comble est que la personne ignorait ce qu’elle devait en faire lorsqu’elle a pris conscience de la tromperie. Nous constatons par conséquent qu’une « roqya » ne peut être réalisée dans un environnement quelconque. En effet, une procédure de diagnostic est essentielle. Nous pouvons à titre d’exemple faire le parallèle avec un rendez-vous chez le médecin ; ce dernier ne peut vous prescrire une ordonnance sans au préalable vous avoir ausculté et interrogé sur les différents symptômes que vous ressentez physiquement. A défaut, au lieu de guérir vous allez aggraver vos maux. Cette attitude vigilante du médecin traitant doit se retrouver lorsque nous envisageons le recours à une « roqya ». Pour illustrer ce propos, nous citerons l’exemple de l’anthropologue, spécialiste de l’islam européen, Farid El Asri, chercheur associé au Centre Jacques Berque, qui nous rapporte une situation alarmante suite à une « roqya » : « Une jeune femme en Belgique (…) est morte suite à une tentative d’exorcisme. Pendant les séances, les fkihs (imams) utilisent normalement de l’eau « coranisée ». Pour cette jeune femme, prétendument stérile, les exorcistes ont carrément plongé son visage dans l’eau et quand elle tentait d’en sortir pour respirer, les guérisseurs estimaient qu’il s’agissait du jinn qui l’habitait et ils replongeaient son visage dans l’eau. Pendant le procès, la famille de la défunte s’est présentée comme musulmane et a accusé ces pratiques d’être extérieures à l’islam quand les guérisseurs estimaient qu’ils avaient simplement fait ce qu’ils pouvaient. Le fait de recourir trop systématiquement au fkih risque également de faire passer une crise d’épilepsie, par exemple, pour une crise de possession. »[3] Nous allons aborder enfin la dernière problématique, celle relative aux honoraires du soignant. III- Les honoraires du soignant Le Prophète, bénédictions et salut sur lui, « a agréé les Compagnons qui ont été payés pour la roqya ». Il est dès lors autorisé de rémunérer un soignant en contrepartie d’une prestation. Toutefois, cette rémunération doit être raisonnable et surtout clairement définie avant le traitement. En outre, nous ne pouvons que souligner et rappeler que, si la roqya est réalisée dans un cadre sérieux, il convient de procéder à toutes les déclarations administratives. Comme pour tout contrat, vous devez exiger un document écrit et le praticien doit préciser quels sont ses engagements exacts afin d’éviter tout litige postérieur. Malheureusement, tous les témoignages transmis à l’UFCM soulignent que l’interlocuteur insiste à plusieurs reprises sur la gratuité de la prestation. Or, dans les faits, cette dernière est payante puisque le coût de la communication est surtaxé. Ainsi, l’une des victimes qui nous a contacté, s’est retrouvée avec une facture téléphonique (hors forfait) de 1800 euros. Par conséquent, nous constatons que ces « roqyas » gratuites sont fondées sur la technique dite du « call-back » qui consiste à amener une personne à rappeler un numéro surtaxé, information qui lui est bien évidemment dissimulée. Une « roqya » peut être payante à condition de respecter un cadre prédéterminé, fondé sur l’information et la transparence des honoraires. En conclusion A la lumière des développements susvisés, l’UFCM appelle d’une part à une régulation du métier de la pratique de la « roqya », d’autre part, à la vigilance de chacun à ne pas céder à la tentation d’une « roqya » qui ne serait pas réalisée dans les conditions requises et qui pourrait produire des effets inverses. Au-delà du cadre spirituel ou juridique, les divers témoignages reçus et étudiés par l’UFCM ne peuvent pas nous laisser indifférents à la question suivante : pourquoi des personnes sont-elles amenées à accepter aussi facilement une « roqya » par téléphone ? Est-ce la gratuité qui a déterminé leur choix ? Certes le mal-être produit par cette société est de plus en plus grand. Nous vivons une époque où les êtres sont de plus en plus coupés des signes de Dieu et vivent un rythme de vie effréné. Ces affaires sont révélatrices des maux les plus profonds qui touchent la communauté musulmane. Par ailleurs, comme l’ensemble des rites islamiques (hajj, halal, pompes funèbres) censés nous rappeler les limites qui déterminent la voie vers Dieu, nous constatons que leur marchandisation trahit de plus en plus leur vocation première. Suffit-il qu’un interlocuteur se présente à nous comme un « cheikh » ou un imam et qu’il nous propose une « roqya » gratuite pour l’accepter aussitôt Ne devrions-nous pas tous nous interroger sur le fait qu’il y ait des musulmanes et des musulmans aussi isolés et aussi ignorants de leur propre religion pour être trompés aussi facilement ? Sommes-nous devenus si dépendants des Hommes que nous en oublions de nous adresser directement à Dieu pour solutionner nos malaises ? Autant de questions que chacun d’entre nous a la responsabilité de se poser. En effet, aucun de nous ou de nos proches ne sont à l’abri d’une telle tromperie. 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@ Gaia: oh io?!
@ Variabile: lo custodisco sott’olio e ne vado gelosa. Lido di Camaiore, Bagno Grazia, comunque. La primaria (si dice?) mi informo’ che si prendeva dalle carcasse di animale, e mi sto ancora interrogando, nel senso: va bene che il mio rapporto di allora non navigava le acque della gioia, ma insomma mi pare esagerato.