Il figliolo di Coso che ha scoperto Gnarls Barkley è un biondo alto molto attraente e dalle mani lunghe, con il collo dal profilo parecchio pronunciato. Viaggia con una macchina decappottata, che ad Albione ci vuole anche la stoffa – un freddo, ma un freddo. La prima volta che ci siamo incontrati ero incinta e accompagnavo l’Inglese a questo colloquio di lavoro, mi aveva detto guardalo tu, senti cosa dice. Il ragazzo aveva dimostrato classe, era tanto bello e non diceva niente di definitivo, eppure avevo l’impressione che se gli avessi detto hai un grosso pomo d’adamo si sarebbe messo a piangere, oppure avrebbe rovesciato il tavolino. Era un rabbioso.
L’incontro era finito con una sua telefonata al babbo, per dirgli che il deal era stato fatto, poi aveva chiesto all’Inglese di andare subito alla televisione a pigliare non so chi – avrebbero duvuto lasciarmi lì con la pancia, non c’entravo nella macchina da due – e avevo detto vai tranquillo, me ne torno lemme lemme a casa con la tube. Così era successo. Avevano sgommato con fragore dall’hotel e io mi ero incamminata con la mia vescica bella compressa in direzione di un segno, un rotondo, che mi indicasse dove scendere verso gli inferi, verso la metropolitana. L’Inglese aveva deciso tutto prima che io potessi fare un segno, e aveva firmato il giorno stesso. Mi aveva chiesto cosa ne pensavo e, siccome aveva già dato la sua parole, gli avevo detto che mi sembrava tutto a posto – non avrebbe avuto senso il contrario.
Dopo un mese il biondo aveva mostrato la sua testa da idrovora, aveva portato un nuovo socio nella società e iniziato una serie di soprusi, fra cui il migliore era invitarci a aperitivi e cene con i suoi amici (clienti), una banda di neurotici con agende personalizzate e nulla da scriverci dentro. Uscivano con ragazze, donne, molto mondane, molto scafate. Una in particolare, quella che piaceva al biondo, era stressatissima dal dover rifare il pavimento del suo nuovo covo all’embankment, eppure aveva un’aria, un non so che, sembrava completa. Era distrutta. La peruviana non era capace. Ho sempre sospettato che la peruviana fosse stata data in dotazione con la casa nuova, che fosse legata dentro lo sgabuzzino con una cordicella elastica ma non troppo, che le avessero tagliato la lingua.
Così si andava nei castelli freddi della grande bretagna, negli hotels tutti bianchi o tutti neri, ai pranzi (munifici) pagati dalla società che io chiamavo Il Buco, The Hole, un pò per l’ufficio interrato, un pò perchè spendevano un sacco di soldi prima di guadagnarli. La mia pancia cresceva e al sesto mese mi esprimevo liberamente su quanto fossero inetti, ma l’Inglese era preoccupato, avremo una bambina, diceva, ho bisogno di questo lavoro. Abbracciando la causa lo aiutavo, sapendo che non sarei stata pagata: col marketing, coi siti, con quel poco che so fare. Fino al crash, fino a quando avevamo scoperto che si intascavano la maggior parte dei guadagni mediante indirizzi di posta “segreti”. Ospitati sul mio server – il genio si fa uomo.
Al settimo mese ero un rotondo e l’Inglese aveva perso il lavoro. La mia società era agli albori e ancora era una perdita continua, una ferita. La creatura stava per nascere ed eravamo due poveracci che vivevano di espedienti. Certo, l’Inglese ogni tanto ne faceva una che ci dava il sereno per mesi, ma mancava la continuità, la tranquillità. Una sera suona il telefonino ed è il babbo dello spilungone biondo, che ci intima un sacco di cose. Ci minaccia, lui è potente e gira con l’elicottero. Fottiti, la risposta che sale dalla pancia, esce alla cornetta. Fottiti è il riassunto rabbioso di mille parole, e vive di vita propria: mi ha posseduto in quel momento, non l’ho cercato. Lui urla ve ne pentirete. E io gli dico no, te ne pentirai tu, perchè tuo figlio è un povero imbecille, e sarà la tua rovina.
L’ho rivisto poco tempo fa. Il babbo l’ha dovuto mettere a fare un lavoro manuale, col contatto al pubblico, perchè in qualunque mansione di reponsabilità o amministrazione ha rubicchiato, ha combinato qualcosa: mio padre gira con l’elicottero, diceva, e nei suoi occhi c’era l’orgoglio, misto al dolore di dover usare una spider, per la propria inettitudine. Per dimostrare a suo padre il suo valore, giuro, avrebbe scassinato una onlus, graffiato una vecchia negli occhi e infibulato qualcuno. E’ tanto bello, ancora, e questo nella vita aiuta. Comunque ora, assieme alle signorine della reception, può finalmente indossare i suoi completi fatti su misura dal sarto di Pall Mall (cui ho fatto un sito che non mi ha pagato, anzi sì, ha pagato loro, ma loro non mi hanno dato un penny). Erediterà l’elicottero, ma la casa discografica non gli pagherà la benza: e sono spese amare.
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Nel mio piccolo, piccolissimo, ieri ho avuto a che fare con uno rovinato, anche, da papà.
Solo che è pure orrendo porello.
Evabbè, come dici te
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Comunque a questo punto per correttezza smetterò di vestirmi dal mio sarto di Pall Mall.
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Si, c’è già andato. La cosa stramba è che a me lui mi fa una tenerezza infinita. Perchè l’hanno cresciuto all’ombra di questo padre tremendo, enorme, e gli hanno rovinato la vita. Sotto sotto, è un brav(issim)o ragazzo. Ma ti sgozzerebbe per un trafiletto su un giornale, per dimostrare che c’è anche lui. Ogni tanto lo guardi e glielo leggi negli occhi, poi torna il solito stronzo e dici evabbè.
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Che vada a farsi fottere. Con l’elicottero dovrebbe arrivarci anche in fretta.