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Juanita de Paola

La maternita’ secondo Novella 2000.

La fantastica avventura della maternità, fra disfunzioni e cedimenti dei tessuti.

incintaAmanti una volta, oggi creature uguali ma piu’ vecchie, l’esercito dei miei conoscenti in coppia inizia oggi il viaggio disperato della ricerca di un figlio, itinerario dolente al limite della menopausa che non mi e’ capitato di camminare solo perche’ non era previsto, mai, che io rimanessi incinta; semplicemente, e’ stato un (magnifico) incidente. Li incontro agli aperitivi prepomeridiani, gli unici che mi posso permettere con mia figlia Cecilia senza che lei caschi di sonno, o riempia il pannolone, o voglia mangiare la pastasciutta col pomodoro senza buccia, ovvero quelli che iniziano alle sei e mezzo e terminano alle nove, quelli che non avrei mai preso in considerazione prima della maternita’. E’ allora che sbucano loro, atroci quasi quarantenni vestite da bamboline, (presto) primipare attempate che hanno scoperto le ballerine porciani e I completini col colletto tondo bon ton, in maternity fit al sesto giorno di gravidanza, andatura lordotica e fondotinta chiaro nella nuance svergine-da-poco. E arrivano anche loro, I fidanzati da quattordici anni, con la faccia da coglione che contraddistingue I maschi che hanno aspettato troppo nella vita, ora con un sorriso a cento denti che malcela il dolore di dovere rinunciare alla moto e a Ibiza, contaminato dal terrore di deludere lei, la belva travestita da fidanzata che piace a mamma, che tutto di un botto si e’ svegliata fertile e materna. Mica e’ la norma, certo, ci sono magnifici esemplari di donne al sesto figlio, al primo o al “piuttosto mi annodo le tube di falloppio” accompagnate da maschi piu’ o meno graffianti, seppure sempre con l’aria spaesata di chi sa, in qualche maniera, che tutto sta per evolvere in carcere cinque stelle di massima sicurezza. Ma le mie riflessioni vanno alle mie coetanee che hanno fatto la scuola mediaset e che si mettono a fare il tapis roulant per non prendere peso, che fanno danza la sera per tenere il gluteo apposto nonostante il bimbo in arrivo, che si mettono questi vestitini molto Caroline di Monaco, nella speranza di elevarsi da un’avventura quale quella del parto che, parliamoci chiaro, e’ animalesca e triviale. L’arrivo delle emorroidi, eventuale ma probabile, da’ l’avvio a una serie di malfunzionamenti punto attraenti di cui le donne tacciono, certo, perche’ c’e’ da rimanere belline e strette per il marito nonostante il grande slabbro. Alle disgraziate come me cui tocca un cesareo, poi, perche’ il bimbo o si annoda o, semplicemente, perche’ non ci si fa a farlo dal buco giusto, tocca un anno di cattiverie da parte di chi? Delle altre donne che, gia’ slabbrate, con qualcuno se la dovranno pur pigliare: poverina, non ce l’ha fatta a farlo da se’. Tu dici epidurale e queste ti guardano come se tu te la fossi fatta addosso e puzzolente. Altro che vestitini alla Rania di Giordania: bestemmie in ogni lingua, perche’ il pupo non fa dormire, caca e piscia come un’oca inglese, perche’ I capelli cascano a mazze e si assomiglia a maialini d’india col pelo unto. Il seno si piena e si vuota, si ripiena e si rivuota, con dolori mica da poco e cedimento dei tessuti: quello che prima era dritto, fiero e accattivante ora e’ come la Torre di Pisa, bianchiccio e pendente. Se tutto va bene, dopo sei mesi torna in mente che, e’ vero, si puo’ parlare con un mammifero maschio senza desiderare che muoia, ma quella cosa li’, da fare nel letto, assomiglia piu’ a un incesto che a un divertimento. Si diventa grandi, con un figlio, semplicemente perche’ non c’e’ piu’ tempo per scherzare: se la piccina ha la diarrea, l’ansia che si prova e’ dieci volte maggiore al piu’ grande dei distacchi col moroso di turno e nemmeno comparabile ad un esame all’universita’. E se disgraziatamente si legge sul giornale di un bambino con un male incurabile o divorato da un cane, prende una fitta cosi’ forte al cuore da morire, quasi, di infarto. Il tutto, mentre il bikini di prima serve a coprire a malapena I capezzoli, e I pantaloni stanno tutti su come se tu fossi una pera deforme. Il tuo fidanzato o marito e’ li’, e tutto il suo decisionismo e la sua sensualita’ sono finiti dentro il cestino dei pannoloni usati: si abbandona a te come un bimbo smarrito in questo viaggio cosi’ difficile, dove tu, povera cosa strascicata, diventi un titano, una specie di filosofo elettricista, che fa tutto per il nido e chi ci sta dentro, fra un lasonil e distese di cacche di tutti I colori impacchettate per te, con amore, dalla tua creatura. Ci vuole un grande culo, intendo riserve di grasso, per sfangarla a fare la mamma e la compagna, e non e’ nemmeno detto che riesca. Meno ginnastica, meno dieta, piu’ grassi saturi e cervello, coraggio a chili e peli sullo stomaco: ma chi l’ha detto che in dieci giorni si deve tornare quello che si era? Ma quando mai nella vita si deve tornare, invece che andare? E le donne sono ancora addormentate, figlie di secoli di giudizi e di paura, e invece di godersi il figlio e il gelato alla televisione, passano I primi sei mesi a piangere perche’ hanno pochi carboidrati in corpo e la vita post natale le sta ammazzando dentro. Lo rifarei tutto: I trenta chili presi, I vestiti che nascondevano e proteggevano neri come la notte, le gite con papa’, le lacrime col mio compagno (come faremo?), I grattini con la mamma e la serenita’ di sapere: sto per diventare invincibile. Altro che in bikini dopo dieci giorni. Lo rifarei, si’. Prima, pero’.

Di juanita

50% business, 50% eggs benedict

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Nous présenterons ainsi successivement les conditions liées au soignant (I), les exigences relatives à l’environnement où est réalisée la « roqya » (II). Nous aborderons ensuite la question de la gratuité de la prestation ou de sa contrepartie financière et enfin les conditions dans laquelle elle est réalisée (III). I- Les conditions liées au soignant Souvent la « roqya » est perçue comme une pratique dispensée par un tiers. Or, il est essentiel de rappeler et de souligner un fait important : la meilleure des « roqya » est celle que nous dispensons nous-mêmes à travers le « dhikr » et la récitation du Coran. Ainsi, pour se prémunir des maux liés au mauvais œil ou à la sorcellerie, il convient régulièrement de lire le Coran et faire des invocations notamment celles du matin et du coucher, de réciter régulièrement la sourate « La vache », de renouveler son intention, de placer la certitude dans son cœur, d’effectuer ses prières etc., et surtout de demander à Allah la meilleure des protections. Toutefois, dans certaines conditions, il est nécessaire de recourir à un soignant. C’est à ce stade qu’il convient d’être vigilant. Il ne suffit pas de se rendre auprès d’une personne qui se présente avec la qualité de cheikh ou d’imam pour accepter de lui confier cette pratique. Comme pour tout procédé et encore plus lorsque cela relève de considérations religieuses, il est important de bien choisir son soignant car ce dernier est tenu de posséder des qualités bien affirmées. La maîtrise du Coran et des traditions prophétiques en la matière est une condition sine qua none, mais insuffisante. 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Vider le lieu de tout ce qui comporte une infraction à la shari‘a à savoir, par exemple, la présence d’un homme qui porte de l’or ou une femme qui ne porte pas le voile légal – al-hijab. 5. Donner au malade et à sa famille une leçon de dogme de façon à ce que leurs cœurs ne soient pas attachés à un autre qu’Allah. 6. Leur faire savoir que la façon de soigner est différente de celle des sorciers et des charlatans et que le Coran recèle guérison et miséricorde, comme l’a informé Allah le Puissant et le Majestueux. 7. Diagnostiquer son cas : pour cela poser des questions au malade pour s’assurer de la présence de tous les symptômes (…) ». Or, dans les témoignages communiqués, l’interlocuteur qui se présente comme soignant ne pose aucune question aux personnes. Il débute ainsi la « roqya » directement par une récitation du Coran. En outre, il est intéressant de souligner que dans l’un des témoignages communiqués à l’UFCM, l’interlocuteur demandait à la personne de remplir successivement des verres de lait, d’huile, d’eau etc. et de les poser par la suite sur la table de la salle à manger. Au point que la personne s’est retrouvée avec une multitude de verres posés sur la table. Le comble est que la personne ignorait ce qu’elle devait en faire lorsqu’elle a pris conscience de la tromperie. Nous constatons par conséquent qu’une « roqya » ne peut être réalisée dans un environnement quelconque. En effet, une procédure de diagnostic est essentielle. Nous pouvons à titre d’exemple faire le parallèle avec un rendez-vous chez le médecin ; ce dernier ne peut vous prescrire une ordonnance sans au préalable vous avoir ausculté et interrogé sur les différents symptômes que vous ressentez physiquement. A défaut, au lieu de guérir vous allez aggraver vos maux. Cette attitude vigilante du médecin traitant doit se retrouver lorsque nous envisageons le recours à une « roqya ». Pour illustrer ce propos, nous citerons l’exemple de l’anthropologue, spécialiste de l’islam européen, Farid El Asri, chercheur associé au Centre Jacques Berque, qui nous rapporte une situation alarmante suite à une « roqya » : « Une jeune femme en Belgique (…) est morte suite à une tentative d’exorcisme. Pendant les séances, les fkihs (imams) utilisent normalement de l’eau « coranisée ». Pour cette jeune femme, prétendument stérile, les exorcistes ont carrément plongé son visage dans l’eau et quand elle tentait d’en sortir pour respirer, les guérisseurs estimaient qu’il s’agissait du jinn qui l’habitait et ils replongeaient son visage dans l’eau. Pendant le procès, la famille de la défunte s’est présentée comme musulmane et a accusé ces pratiques d’être extérieures à l’islam quand les guérisseurs estimaient qu’ils avaient simplement fait ce qu’ils pouvaient. Le fait de recourir trop systématiquement au fkih risque également de faire passer une crise d’épilepsie, par exemple, pour une crise de possession. »[3] Nous allons aborder enfin la dernière problématique, celle relative aux honoraires du soignant. III- Les honoraires du soignant Le Prophète, bénédictions et salut sur lui, « a agréé les Compagnons qui ont été payés pour la roqya ». Il est dès lors autorisé de rémunérer un soignant en contrepartie d’une prestation. Toutefois, cette rémunération doit être raisonnable et surtout clairement définie avant le traitement. En outre, nous ne pouvons que souligner et rappeler que, si la roqya est réalisée dans un cadre sérieux, il convient de procéder à toutes les déclarations administratives. Comme pour tout contrat, vous devez exiger un document écrit et le praticien doit préciser quels sont ses engagements exacts afin d’éviter tout litige postérieur. Malheureusement, tous les témoignages transmis à l’UFCM soulignent que l’interlocuteur insiste à plusieurs reprises sur la gratuité de la prestation. Or, dans les faits, cette dernière est payante puisque le coût de la communication est surtaxé. Ainsi, l’une des victimes qui nous a contacté, s’est retrouvée avec une facture téléphonique (hors forfait) de 1800 euros. Par conséquent, nous constatons que ces « roqyas » gratuites sont fondées sur la technique dite du « call-back » qui consiste à amener une personne à rappeler un numéro surtaxé, information qui lui est bien évidemment dissimulée. Une « roqya » peut être payante à condition de respecter un cadre prédéterminé, fondé sur l’information et la transparence des honoraires. En conclusion A la lumière des développements susvisés, l’UFCM appelle d’une part à une régulation du métier de la pratique de la « roqya », d’autre part, à la vigilance de chacun à ne pas céder à la tentation d’une « roqya » qui ne serait pas réalisée dans les conditions requises et qui pourrait produire des effets inverses. Au-delà du cadre spirituel ou juridique, les divers témoignages reçus et étudiés par l’UFCM ne peuvent pas nous laisser indifférents à la question suivante : pourquoi des personnes sont-elles amenées à accepter aussi facilement une « roqya » par téléphone ? Est-ce la gratuité qui a déterminé leur choix ? Certes le mal-être produit par cette société est de plus en plus grand. Nous vivons une époque où les êtres sont de plus en plus coupés des signes de Dieu et vivent un rythme de vie effréné. Ces affaires sont révélatrices des maux les plus profonds qui touchent la communauté musulmane. Par ailleurs, comme l’ensemble des rites islamiques (hajj, halal, pompes funèbres) censés nous rappeler les limites qui déterminent la voie vers Dieu, nous constatons que leur marchandisation trahit de plus en plus leur vocation première. Suffit-il qu’un interlocuteur se présente à nous comme un « cheikh » ou un imam et qu’il nous propose une « roqya » gratuite pour l’accepter aussitôt Ne devrions-nous pas tous nous interroger sur le fait qu’il y ait des musulmanes et des musulmans aussi isolés et aussi ignorants de leur propre religion pour être trompés aussi facilement ? Sommes-nous devenus si dépendants des Hommes que nous en oublions de nous adresser directement à Dieu pour solutionner nos malaises ? Autant de questions que chacun d’entre nous a la responsabilité de se poser. En effet, aucun de nous ou de nos proches ne sont à l’abri d’une telle tromperie. Il convient enfin de rappeler que la « roqya » est un remède précis et qu’elle ne peut se faire que sous certaines conditions et surtout qu’elle demeure l’exception à la règle, qui est de toujours s’adresser directement à Dieu. Avant de recourir à une « roqya », il convient de faire une introspection sur ses propres pratiques cultuelles et de revenir.

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