Lo vuoi, bella, un valido motivo? [by Odi et Amo]

valdi motivo
Raggiungere una posizione socialmente rilevante per una donna è molto difficile e molto facile insieme, dipende tutto da come si pone, dal proprio carattere e soprattutto dalle reazioni delle persone che ha intorno.
Nella maggior parte dei casi si parte dal basso, ovvero dalla posizione è-una-che-si-da-fare-studia-ed-è-umile. In pratica la posizione della missionaria, non del missionario: ci si alza alle cinque di mattina e invece di andare a pregare come Madre Teresa si va a studiare, poi si va a fare qualche lavoretto per sostentarsi, mentre si fa anche uno stage inerente alla materia di studio. Gratis. E ci mancherebbe.

Dopo un po’, così come ci si stanca presto del missionario tra le lenzuola, ci si stanca anche di fare la missionaria – ed ecco che si sale di grado, ovvero si accede al livello eh-lei-secondo-me-farà-strada-hai-visto-come-fa-veloce. Questa è una fase allegra e scoppiettante, se non scoppi tu prima: sveglia all’alba, università al termine e dottorato in corso, prospettive zero su quel che si è studiato, prospettive duemila in altri rivoli di vita, buona considerazione di te da parte dei superiori, ma si salta sempre un turno, come al gioco dell’oca. E di quattrini, nemmeno l’ombra. In effetti in questa fase ogni tanto due o tre pizze bisogna ancora portarle ai tavolini estivi.

A passo di marcia manco fosse il D-day si giunge ad un terzo step, ovvero ma-che-ci-fa-lei-qui-non-è-un-po’-troppo-giovane?, frase parecchio in auge in qualsiasi ambiente lavorativo al quale si accede con un minimo di stipendio, e dove pare che chi è arrivato prima di te sia approdato a novantanni, mentre non è così che sono andate le cose. Allora inizia la palestra della vita, dove per palestra intendo proprio movimento fisico:
Esercizio uno: gomitate dalla mattina alla sera, chè vengono le spalle larghe.
Esercizio due: corsa a destra e a sinistra, chèserve per velocizzare i tempi di reazione.
Esercizio tre: salto del rapporto amoroso – chè serve per allenare il cuore a smettere di battere, in alcuni casi.

Elegantemente, senza sudare, si rimane ferme quasi una decade a questo step, almeno, prima di poter accedere a quello successivo: uno schema difficile questo, quasi come quello del dinosauro di Mario Bros 2 – il terribile schema intermedio.
Dimenticavo: è in questa fase che capita di uccidere umanamente un’amica, e di morire momentaneamente per mano di un’altra. Poggio e buca.

Ma ecco che a grandi balzi, ormai con i primi capelli bianchi, a quarant’anni quasi, si arriva alla fase dello sbucare dei giocattoli (leggi quella-ha-le-palle), come se la sacca pelosa e ciondoloni risolvesse d’un tratto l’empasse dei dieci anni precedenti: in un Consiglio d’Amministrazione, a una cena di gala, ad una inaugurazione, o ad un (pallosissimo) concerto di musica classica di rappresentanza. Non in prima fila, diciamo in terza o quarta fila, con vista chiorbe notabili. Con questo nuovo orpello (le palle) ci si destreggia tra una decisione difficile o simili, un matrimonio o simili, un figlio o simili, un fidanzato o simili, una macchina o simili e lui, il fidanzato vero: il proprio amato lavoro.

Ed è qui che entrano in gioco le reazioni che provochi: se ti apprezzano, se ti cercano, se ti chiedono consiglio, è fatta. E ancora: se ti offendono, se ti criticano, se ti tirano per la giacchetta, è ancora fatta. A questo punto, se ti lamenti, vuol dire che tutto quel che hai fatto prima non è valso a nulla. A questo punto, se ti lamenti vuol dire che non hai il coraggio di pedalare. A questo punto, se ti lamenti  vuol dire che la tu’mamma non t’ha mai detto se non la fai finita di piangere te lo do io un valido motivo.

Le reazioni della gente intorno a te, appunto.

[di Odi et Amo]

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