Non cerco vendetta: non mi riesce (lo sai).

juanita

Ero preoccupata che il sito avesse la dicitura “Ufficiale” – quella è una parola che funziona, tipo Doc o baguette. Quindi mi sono sentita sicura ad aprire la homepage ufficiale di Mariolona, allegra adolescente ignuda che mi fa venire voglia di infilare lo chador a mia figlia. Mariolona me l’ha suggerita facebook, e io i social media li ascolto, non solo, metto in pratica quello che mi consigliano: sono un utente disciplinato e attento, con poca personalità – il target perfetto. D’altra parte è vero che esiste una canzone che si chiama I Love Paris e io non ho bisogno di esserci andata più di due volte per abbracciarla come se l’avessi scritta proprio io: questo succede a noi che siamo poco importanti, poco efficaci, che da un giorno all’altro prendiamo decisioni grandiose, eroiche, e ce le portiamo in fondo senza aspettare l’applauso.

Fai pure arrabbiare uno di quelli tutti impettiti, o una di quelle che sono tutte d’un pezzo: al massimo finirete in tribunale. Fai arrabbiare uno come noi, più remissivo, un “boncitto”, e la vendetta – la più tremenda possibile – diventerà uno scopo esistenziale finchè la pietà non prenderà di nuovo il sopravvento. Mecenate numero uno, quello che mi ha fatto vivere gratis (come una semidea) in un’ala di casa sua per un anno purchè la sera gli parlassi davanti al camino, mi diceva sempre che non sarei arrivata in fondo, non sarai una grande imprenditrice, perchè non ho il coraggio di tagliare le gambe a chi prova a danneggiarmi. Poi mi spiegava che il contadino serio non si fa prendere dal terrore se deve potare un albero: sa che lo fa per un motivo, sa che sortirà nuovi germoglie, che debellerà così la malattia.

Io, invece, sono un contadino che si affeziona agli acari. Alle malattie delle piante. Mi spiace potare un ramo anche se è in cancrena evidente, mi duole nel profondo piazzarmi davanti al maiale, in fattoria, e spiegargli che diventerà salsiccia: io lo tengo, il porco, e lo pettino. Ci facciamo compagnia. Quando figlia organizzo una battesimo e dò ai cuccioli un nome, di modo che nessuno li veda mai come cibo in potenza. Sono un terribile proprietario di fattoria, una che dovrebbe rastrellare in terra e cantare felice: questo so fare. E basta.

Ma tu, mio amico porco, tu non eri così. Tu eri un signor maiale da compagnia. Tu sembrava che fossi duecento chili e invece eri un peso piuma – ma andava bene così. Ti davi un sacco d’arie, certo, ma eri anche affabile – una compagnia strepitosa. Sapevamo in fattoria che eri debole, ma ti difendevamo dai macellai perchè tu eri noi, e noi eravamo te: pensa che fortuna, nella vita, quando un gruppo di uomini e animali si mescolano con rispetto e allegria, abbracciando ognuno l’inutilità e la compagnia dell’altro. Pensaci bene, amico mio, perchè quello che hai fatto. Io ancora non ci posso credere. Mi viene in mente solo una cosa: il nuovo contadino, quello che ti ha adottato, è peggio di noi. Ti ha promesso più pappa, più prato, più acqua. Ma ti ha buttato lì nel fango e ti stai rimpuzzolendo – in fin dei conti, non dire che non ti avevo avvertito.

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