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C’e’ il cantante che ha sposato la causa umanitario animalista che si fa tutte le ragazzine sempre con la stessa scusa – assomigli tanto a mia moglie quando era giovane, la modella che si accoppia anche con le gambe di tavolo, la fidanzata dell’attore che quando lui e’ sul set si distrae e parecchio. Come nelle figurine non mi manca nulla, nemmeno qualcuno che mi abbia chiesto di fare loro le foto, o i filmini, e che poi il giorno dopo mi si e’ ripresentato davanti con aria disperata, ma non avrai mica, e io no. Mai. Eppure assistenti personali, davanti ai miei occhi, si sono quasi immolate per trovare qualcuno che lo facesse, invece, che arrivasse subito, che si firmasse la liberatoria, che tutto andasse smooth. Sig. Coso, come mi ha richiesto: la sua zoccola, il fotografo, un grammo di cocaina e una candela profumata per l’atmosfera.

La gente e’ matta. E man mano che si accorge di non potere piu’ volare economy, man mano che comincia a non poterne piu’ della saponetta in bagno, del piatto mediocre, della scarpa a buon prezzo, della noia, inizia la sua volata verso la follia. Una pazzia che accieca, che tralascia la liberatoria firmata, che diventa pubblica, quasi a vedere fino a che punto si puo’ arrivare prima che qualcuno dica ma dai, ma datti una regolata. Non e’ piu’ il poker, e’ la puntata minima da ventimila euro. Non e’ piu’ l’amante volgare, piu’ brutta della moglie, e’ un esercito di signorine che poi, con i proventi, si autoproducono un libro. Non e’ piu’ lo svicolare dalla discoteca e trovarsi una donnina a bordo strada, e’ incaricare la tua segretaria di organizzare tutto entro la data ora, con quei canoni, per quel prezzo.

Alla fine della serata avevo accumulato una crisi isterica e troppi bicchieri di vino: bianco, rosso, rose’. Che schifo. Ero transitata da stanze di alberghi famose con dentro persone famose perche’ ero rimasta intrappolata li’, non avevo un euro in tasca, e chi si doveva prendere cura di me era due cose: la prima, un pierre, la seconda, andato via. Cosi’, semplicemente. Mi aveva preso in carico la vice, che mi aveva affibbiato compiti semplici da eseguire velocemente, non ne poteva piu’ della mia rogna: io non sono questo, io qui non ci voglio stare, voglio andare a casa. Troppo tardi per acchiappare un treno senza biglietto, troppo povera per prendermi una stanza di albergo. Finimmo cosi’ in un’altra discoteca, poi un prive’ ancora piu’ blindato, poi dovunque fino al mattino, quando finalmente la segretaria mi fece andare nella sua stanza, e li’ dormii sul divanetto, morta.

Mi ci vollero dieci ore per tornare a Vellano e mi ci volle tutta per convincere il capotreno a multarmi e basta, senza farmi scendere, ma ando’ bene. Con addosso un vestitino sudato del giorno prima, i capelli ancora unti di stanchezza, la faccia stravolta di sonno, mi sentivo una cretina per non essere riuscita a fregarmene, per non essere saltata in pista, ma si’, e non avere bevuto champagne a scrocco – eppure mi sentivo salva; intonsa. A noi, che siamo di una pesantezza infinita, ci tocchera’ andare nelle balere a ottantanni, per ballare leggeri e scomposti come avremmo dovuto fare prima.

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