Partita, fagioli, cipolle, rutto libero.

La partita di Champions, qualunque cosa la sigla significhi, ha un corrispettivo nell’emisfero femminile: il filmino d’amore con lieto fine. per intendersi: non Titanic, non Via col vento, non Vento di Passioni – nonostante una Brad Pitt che giustifica la lotta delle donne nel fango – bensì In Good Company con Dannis Quaid, o French Kiss con Kevin Kline, Twilight ma anche New Moon, con Robert Pattinson, ovvero “dell’inusitato scompenso ormonale e attempata”.

Dalla pubblicità di carefree modello urina, in cui due disgraziate si incontrano in ascensore rallegrandosi che c’è carefree per le nostre perdite, che assorbe tutto, e pensa, abbiamo la veneranda età di 42 anni, si capisce bene quale sia il nostro futuro: un marketing di disperazione, popolato di pazze che gioiscono per la nuova dentiera auto aderente, in contrapposizione ad uno maschile fatto di viagra, cialis e piselli ritti. Quindi bisogna accumulare quanta più gioia possibile, per arrivare ai sessanta con una bisaccia di forza, che ci servirà a digerire le avances di nostro marito con le nipotine venute  a trovarci dall’America.

Eppure non è un caso che le amanti siano sempre più brutte della moglie: è perchè hanno accumulato più bisacce di positività, loro, hanno dovuto iniziare alle medie, quando i compagni di classe le chiamavano Cacatoia, o Rutty, o Apparecchio e così via. Io, che si faceva prima a saltarmi che a girarmi intorno, ho infatti iniziato ad accumulare allegria da subito. Mi sono anche dedicata alla fotografia al solo scopo di vedere maschi mezzi nudi e ragazze ridere senza che i due fenomeni fossero simultanei e correlati al mio mettermi in costume alla piscina comunale.

Mi sovviene ora che a ventanni decisi, finalmente, di iscrivermi a nuoto. Andavo la mattina, per non incontrare persone attraenti. Facevo un corso dove ci si infilavano tubi colorati di gomma fra le cosce e nel frattempo ci si sbracciava, in acqua, come dei poveri disgraziati in tempo di guerra. Questo movimento, unito alla cuffia blue in testa (a arrotondare persino le più fini delle mascelle, figuriamoci la mia, che non ha angoli), ci rendeva delle creature sublimate da una bruttezza irreale, catartica, didascalica. Quand’ecco che, nella corsia dietro la nostra, mi accorgo che prendeva lezioni private, senza cuffia, Danny Mendez, la futura prima miss Italia straniera. Interno. Piscina comunale. Corsia di dietro. 94 gradi. Ciack. Non farò mai più sport in pubblico in vita mia, ma Signore, perché mi hai fatto questo?.

Per il filmino d’amore ci vogliono solo attori di successo e comedy proof, ovvero Meg Ryan prima di rovinarsi la faccia col botulino e palle di medusa gonfia. Ma anche Marisa Tomei, la divina Julia Roberts, Minnie Driver, Ashton e compagnia belli. Ci vogliono facce positive sorrisi e trame delicate, certe. inverosimili.

— Sent with Mail3 – the new generation of mobile messaging

39 Comments

  1. carpentry

    You have mentioned very interesting details ! ps decent site. “It is better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for what you are not.” by Andre Gide.

  2. Sid Luckinbill

    There are absolutely a great deal of details like that to take into account. That is a fantastic indicate raise. I offer the ideas above as basic ideas however clearly there are questions like the one you raise where one of the most vital point will be operating in truthful good faith. I don?t know if finest practices have actually arised around things like that, however I am sure that your task is clearly determined as a level playing field. Both kids and women really feel the influence of just a moment?s enjoyment, for the rest of their lives.

  3. Supplies On The Fly

    Paul Darden was accused to murder when he was only fifteen years old. While the Stud variants in 8 sport poker are 7 Card Stud, Razz, and Stud Hi-Lo. You simply don’t have that in a genuine job.

  4. rx extracts

    Outstanding post however I was wondering if you could write a litte more on this topic? I’d be very thankful if you could elaborate a little bit more. Thank you!|

  5. More Sex

    Every weekend i used to go to see this web page, as i want enjoyment, as this this site conations really nice funny information too.|

  6. click to read

    I just want to say I’m all new to blogging and site-building and certainly loved your web page. Almost certainly I’m planning to bookmark your website . You absolutely come with beneficial articles. Regards for revealing your website page.

  7. sex izle

    At this time it looks like Drupal is the best blogging platform available right now. (from what I’ve read) Is that what you are using on your blog?|

  8. cannabis near me

    I am extremely impressed with your writing skills and also with the layout on your blog. Is this a paid theme or did you customize it yourself? Either way keep up the nice quality writing, it’s rare to see a great blog like this one nowadays.|

  9. cannabis near me

    Simply wish to say your article is as surprising. The clarity in your post is just nice and i can assume you’re an expert on this subject. Fine with your permission let me to grab your feed to keep up to date with forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please carry on the gratifying work.|

  10. cbd oil that works 2020

    Its like you read my thoughts! You seem to grasp so much about this, like you
    wrote the book in it or something. I believe that you simply could do with a few p.c.
    to drive the message house a little bit, however other than that, that is wonderful blog.
    A great read. I’ll certainly be back.

  11. ig

    I know this website offers quality depending content
    and extra information, is there any other web site which provides these kinds of information in quality?

  12. sling tv

    Woah! I’m really digging the template/theme of this
    site. It’s simple, yet effective. A lot of times it’s hard to get that “perfect balance” between user friendliness
    and visual appeal. I must say that you’ve done a
    amazing job with this. Also, the blog loads super fast for me on Opera.
    Excellent Blog!

  13. sling tv

    This design is wicked! You most certainly know how to keep a reader entertained.
    Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start my own blog (well, almost…HaHa!) Excellent
    job. I really loved what you had to say, and more than that, how you presented it.
    Too cool!

  14. sling tv

    Hello, I do believe your blog could possibly be
    having internet browser compatibility problems. Whenever I take a look at your site in Safari,
    it looks fine however when opening in IE, it’s got some
    overlapping issues. I just wanted to give you a quick heads up!
    Apart from that, excellent blog!

  15. sling tv

    I’m really enjoying the design and layout of your site.
    It’s a very easy on the eyes which makes it much more pleasant for
    me to come here and visit more often. Did you hire out a developer to create your theme?
    Superb work!

  16. sling tv

    Pretty nice post. I just stumbled upon your blog and
    wanted to say that I have really enjoyed surfing around your blog posts.
    In any case I’ll be subscribing to your rss feed and I hope you write again very soon!

  17. sling tv

    Hello, everything is going sound here and ofcourse every one is sharing data,
    that’s genuinely excellent, keep up writing.

  18. sling tv

    Your style is so unique compared to other folks
    I’ve read stuff from. Many thanks for posting when you’ve got the
    opportunity, Guess I’ll just bookmark this site.

  19. match.com free trial

    I was extremely pleased to uncover this page. I want to to thank you for ones time just for
    this fantastic read!! I definitely appreciated every little bit of it and I have
    you book-marked to look at new things in your site.

  20. coconut oil

    Excellent site you have got here.. It’s hard to find high quality writing like yours these days.
    I seriously appreciate individuals like you! Take care!!

  21. coconut oil

    I every time used to read paragraph in news papers but now as I am a user of net thus
    from now I am using net for posts, thanks to web.

  22. ps4 games

    It is appropriate time to make some plans for the future and it’s time to be happy.
    I have read this post and if I could I desire to suggest you
    few interesting things or suggestions. Maybe you could write
    next articles referring to this article. I desire to read more things about it!

  23. ps4 games

    Asking questions are in fact pleasant thing if you are not
    understanding something totally, however this piece
    of writing gives good understanding even.

  24. ps4 games

    I’m gone to say to my little brother, that he should also visit this
    weblog on regular basis to obtain updated from
    most up-to-date reports.

  25. quest bars cheap

    Have you ever thought about including a little bit
    more than just your articles? I mean, what you say is fundamental and everything.

    Nevertheless think about if you added some great graphics or
    video clips to give your posts more, “pop”!
    Your content is excellent but with images and clips, this
    site could definitely be one of the greatest in its niche.
    Awesome blog!

  26. quest bars cheap

    hello there and thank you for your information – I’ve definitely picked up anything new
    from right here. I did however expertise a few technical issues using this web site, since I experienced
    to reload the site lots of times previous to I could get it to load
    properly. I had been wondering if your web host is OK?
    Not that I am complaining, but slow loading instances times will sometimes affect your placement in google
    and could damage your high-quality score if advertising and marketing with Adwords.
    Well I am adding this RSS to my email and could look out for much more of your
    respective exciting content. Ensure that you update this again very soon.

  27. ps4 games

    You could certainly see your skills within the article you
    write. The world hopes for more passionate writers such as you who aren’t afraid to say how they believe.
    Always follow your heart.

Lascia un commento