Le donne sono, siamo, stupide. Grandi creature, umanamente imparagonabili al maschio per capienza e sensibilità, magnifiche nella loro capacità di dare e capire senza riserve, anche quando non comprendono. Ma stupide.
Stupide quando credono alla tranquillità, quando si fanno fregare dall’abitudine e dai posti sicuri, quando (si) negano la propria indole giocosa ed erotica e quando si trasformano da creatura femminile a moglie fedele.
Certo, il marito è contento di trovare panni freschi e lasagne, e mentre lei sceglie di diventare un animale da Enciclopedia dei 15 – a blender, a woover, a nanny-robot, who else, a woman -, lui si bea di una trasformazione che non ha richiesto, ma che sicuramente gli farà comodo.
Nel frattempo, lui pensa a quanto è diventata bona la nipote del cugino, che ora che ha diciotto anni, parliamo chiaro, è una donna formata. Lei, non la giovane parente, ma la moglie, intanto, inizia a dipingere vasi e stanze, trasforma il tea con le amiche in un occasione di nanofuga: ma da cosa? Non lo sa, perchè non se lo chiede.
Fuga da un letto bianco e profumato, da un marito rabbuonito, da un uomo che è stato castrato con il sorriso e che ora canta – e altro – come Farinelli. Fuga da un inferno di educazione e organizzazione svizzera, da una casa dove non si può fumare o fare l’amore sul divano beije, dal regno dove piccoli Hitler di due anni decidono i ritmi di tutti, supportati dal peggiore dei Gran Visir: noi madri.
Le più stupide, poi, decidono che per sviarsi da tanto grigiore ci vuole un (altro) disgraziato, qualche altro castrato, e iniziano giochini che dovrebbero avere come finale solo un letto sfatto ma che sfociano, invece, in pianti e pessime erezioni: è castrato da un’altra come te, cosa ti aspettavi, che fosse Indiana Jones?
Per una donna stupida c’è un uomo imbolsito pronto ad assecondarne la follia, finchè saranno finalmente disfatti, infelici, per sempre insieme. Ma forse sono pessimista, forse le donne ganze, quelle che sanno dare voce alla capacità di chiedere, invece che di dare, invece che diventare porno-emotive, ci sono. Forse ce ne sono molte e andare a cena a casa loro è rassicurante, quando sono ancora capaci di accarezzare i propri mariti e compagni e fare stare noi ospiti sereni e pacificati.
Non erano di sicuro attorno a me stamattina sul treno per Milano, quelle lamentosissime, pesantissime donnette che si lamentavano dei mariti e smessaggiavano con qualche demente che le faceva sorridere. Tutte insieme, come si conviene alle galline.
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