Ho dimenticato di mettere su il montone nel percorso dalla cabina all’ingresso dell’aeroporto. Non è proprio freddo, ma ero abbastanza accaldata e stanca da pregiudicare gravemente la mia gola da sempre fragilissima. Mi punge tutto, mi sembra di avere una manata di chiodi nel collo e cerco di sputare invece che deglutire per non dovere sopportare quel dolore così noioso. Questo succede a noi cattolici quando andiamo in vacanza: Dio ci punisce. Questo succede a noi fumatori occasionali: Dio si prende i nostri polmoni e le nostre trachee.
Belfast assomiglia a tante altre città Inglesi: il cielo è più basso e vicino, tutto si svolge fra il grigio e l’indaco, le persone hanno la temperatura corporea a dodici celsius e le donne sembrano avere appena scaricato un tir di legna in gonnella – solo che è Irlandese e la differenza è abissale: c’è qualcosa di molto mediterraneo, stranamente, in questa popolazione dai tratti arricciati. Mi sento a mio agio e il servizio lasco, sicuramente meno finocchio di quello Londinese, mi mette di buon umore: mi sento a casa.
Stanotte alle quattro e undici in hotel è suonata la sirena dell’evacuazione e siamo usciti nei corridoi, chi in mutande e chi stravolto col cappotto. Indossavo tacchi comodi senza calzini, stavo cercando di salvare secondi preziosi. Il tutto è durato qualche minuto, poi la voce del manager è risuonata nei corridoi e ci ha rassicurato, andate a letto, ci dispiace, è tutto a posto. Non mi è nemmeno venuto nemmeno in mente di svegliare la piccola nel frattempo, ho pensato che l’avrei caricata in spalla senza dirle nulla, non sta bene turbare i bambini nemmeno durante i bombardamenti.
Ho pensato che se fossimo morte, sarebbe accaduto nella conformazione più tipica della nostra famiglia: papà fuori in discoteca col suo cliente, ubriaco come un trattore a gasolio, mamma e figlia a letto in una stanza di hotel perfettamente riassettata dalla sottoscritta – ho persino messo gli asciugamani sporchi in un sacco di plastica per non farli trovare disordinati in vasca. L’Inglese, il regista e la rockstar sono rientrati alle cinque. Daddy aveva delle velleità ed io ho fatto quello che una moglie deve fare: tirargli un calcio nei coglioni girandomi dall’altra parte.
Stamani non ricordava niente e mi ha portato la colazione a letto, che è uno dei vantaggi inattesi di avere il dopple-ganger di Mick Jagger come marito: dalle ore undici di sera alle ore quattro del mattino viaggia come il pupazzo senza cervello del Mago di Oz. Gli si può sottrarre denaro, spaccare il naso, bruciare vestiti per dispetto o farlo addormentare fuori dalla porta di casa e lui la mattina dopo va comunque a comprare rose, croissants e fa finta di nulla col portafogli svuotato perchè pensa sia colpa sua.
Il bureau del turismo ci ha accomodato nell’hotel Europa, lo si trova su google digitando ‘most blown up hotel’ e, se uno ha la funzione di google che completa la ricerca in automatico, il bot ci aggiunge ‘in the world’. Siamo qui per girare un film, intervistare un regista di video e conoscere Van Morrison. Dobbiamo scriverne, di tutto, dopo.
Come sempre me ne sto ritirata dentro l’hotel aspettando che lo spirito locale venga alla porta e mi colga: mi basta un elemento, non mi interessa capire tutto, nè intaccare la radice per mangiare il frutto. Il mondo si divide fra quelli che studiano i quadri prima di andare alle mostre e quelli che aspettano di essere colpiti in faccia da qualcosa: una sensazione, un deja vù – e io faccio parte dei secondi.
Tutta la cultura futura e passata la abbiamo dentro, a dispetto delle Harvard e delle Camerino. L’importante è un buon trigger.
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