Strauss-Kahn, la patata e perchè il mio amico K non entra in ascensore.

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Quando ricordo un posto, la sequenza delle immagini che me lo riporta alla mente è sempre la stessa, e non ha mai a che fare con il panorama nè con la cosa che ci sono andata a fare (mangiare?), ma con frammenti, immagini macroscopiche, sensazioni perlopiù di odori che mi colpiscono a morte: ho, credo, una malattia chiamata malinconia olfattiva. Del mare, ad esempio, ricordo l’aroma dolce dell’acqua non potabile a lenire tutto il sale di mare patito in una giornata: scendeva da un tombolino sul molo, ci sciacquavamo i piedi impanati di sabbia e anche dentro il costume, per non farci venire tutto rosso. Poi, si beveva di nascosto.

Della casa di Firenze ricordo invece l’odore che fanno le travi di legno vivo d’estate, quando ci sono mille gradi e sembra che le pareti siano di meringa, e le capriate decorazioni di cocco. Roccastrada è l’odore buono della bisononna pulita: il candore della minestrina, l’età della panca del salotto con dentro i centrini, le madie piene di piatti non usati. Della casa gialla ricordo le coperte, poco lavate, impregnate con il mio profumino arancione, prima, e viola, dopo. Il collo: ricordo l’odore dei colli di ognuno.

Tornando a Punta Ala, è stato il mio primo contatto con le dinamiche del piacere legate al poter spendere. Ricordo cose, sensazioni, di vuoto: pregavo mamma di non tornarci più, povera cretina che ero, perchè mi sentivo persa in mezzo a quella gente. Ho finito per lavorarci, con quella gente, e forse fare parte, di quella gente, non tanto come capacità di spesa ma come occasione di trovarsi in certi posti, in certi momenti, come ospite gradito, se non speciale con amici (molto) speciali. Ricordo i codici di matrice animale, per cui veniva spontaneo di avvicinarsi con cautela a quelli più importanti e molto poco a quegli altri. C’erano banchieri, proprietari di squadre di calcio, petrolieri, cantanti, attori. C’erano presentatrici, segretarie, mogli, ragazze con vestitini color celeste e bianco.

La leggerezza del bagno senza mutande, che diventa ribellione chic per un ceto e cagnara becera per un altro – anche perchè un certo ceto conta gambe sottili, l’altro culi enormi -, la pastasciutta di mezzanotte che è un’esperienza catartica per l’alta società, celebrativa dei tempi semplici, e che è invece accumulo di ulteriore grasso per la medio-bassa. Le situazioni equivoche, sensuali in yacht, orrende nei condomini, anche, ricordo molto bene. Più di tutto ricordo i capelli di A la notte dopo che aveva dormito con C: una storia scritta nelle stizze.  C’era un limite: (quasi) tutti potevano avere (quasi) tutto e (quasi) tutte, molte potevano scegliere se rimanere a dormire oppure no, ma poi ognuno a casa sua con la moglie, col marito. Niente scandali. La povera L, lasciata dal marito per la segretaria dal labbro leporino, era un’appestata perchè tornava al mare lì dove era lui, invece di andare da qualche altra parte: è strano il mondo, e sono strani gli uomini, ma il lavare i panni sporchi in pubblico è considerato roba per traditori, per donnette.

K suona uno strumento. Anzi, ne suona due, uno in particolare lo esercita con le sue amiche. Talvolta lo suona anche parecchie volte durante la stessa nottata, diversi turni, diverse puelle, stessa camera di hotel: questo è concesso agli dei dell’Olimpo Musicale, che emettono quattro dischi milionari di fila. Da lì in poi, gli addetti ai lavori lo sanno bene, tutto arriva come dono, le donne ti si buttano ai piedi, i posti cui anelavi da piccino ti rovinano l’email di inviti e non ci vuoi più andare. Mentre gli amici se ne escono per l’aperitivo K schiva gente con cd in tasca, conduttori, fans, giornalisti in disguise, fotografi. E’ al suo quarto matrimonio e subisce le nascite dei continui figli, legittimi e tenuti nascosti a suon di assegni di mantenimento, come offese necessarie.

K ha un avvocato, che gli ha fatto allacciare le tube e gli ha realizzato un documento da fare firmare, quasi ogni sera, alle ragazze che rimorchia: c’è scritto che qualunque cosa succeda, il rapporto è stato consensuale, che non è stato versato pagamento per la prestazione, che si intende spontanea e al solo scopo del reciproco piacere ed intrattenimento. La segretaria compone pacchetti di cremine e profumini, una specie di goodie bag, che il mio amico K dà alla ragazza dopo che hanno finito: di trattenersi in camera, nemmeno a parlarne. Alla fine del form c’è anche un disclaimer, che proibisce di parlare del coito (e contorno) pena multe severe, ritorsioni, galera.

Nella lista delle cose cui K è stato istruito all’inizio, oltre all’uso del preservativo e al non scrivere, mai, nulla, circa al quarto posto, sta la regolina “Non entrare mai in ascensore se c’è una donna, anche in età non fertile, a meno che non ci sia una terza persona”. Con questo, sono certa che Strauss-Kahn sia colpevole – arrivati a certi punti, la normale soddisfazione non dà più nulla – e che si andrà a rimestare nella vita della povera cameriera per metterla in cattiva luce. Sono sicura che Strauss-Kahn la farà franca. Ho la granitica certezza che nessuna delle signorine che si buttano nude nelle barche o negli ascensori, che si fanno ingravidare a scopo vitalizio, si sentirà minimamente chiamata in causa in questa vicenda, nonostante grazie anche a loro uno stronzo megalomane, un povero vecchio con la prostata in fiamme, non sarà punito per avere tentato di violentare una cameriera.

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